“My  Personal Daily Therapy, published Weekly or so…”

“There comes a time when you have to choose between turning the page or just closing the Book”

From “Nathan Lee”, a fitting tune called “Gotta’ keep movin’ on”

The "White Sand Dunes", they keep moving on as we do. Overflowing over the shoulders of the sinuous curved roads, blown by the constant winds, they, as us, keep moving on. Sand particles, as we are and where one would think nothing grows, yet the greenery protrudes as here and there as our own Souls expand. Dunes and more Dunes. Each granule is the seed for the waves formed, scriptures from the blows incessant days and nights. I avoid stepping on the drawings that have been so delicately marked. I am taken back how we all are one. Constant movement and yet going nowhere. I feel part of them, so slow moving myself by the same elements.

As with us the storms will descent upon it’s ripples, the rain will erase the fine sketches drawn, the daytime glare was blinding and as night time fell and the clouds played with their new palettes of colors my heart beat fastened as I could barely contain myself in the middle of this stage so powerful to all the senses. We wandered from here to there, we got blown away waiting for calmer times, every minute, every second was taken in as a motion being into another Universe.

Is it eerie? Maybe. Non natural? Maybe. Different? not really… only if acres of sand dunes awakens the curiosity as it did for me. Islands amongst islands. Contemplation of the present as if transported into another world of ours. Reminders of the Sahara, South America. Wonders so much in contrast with solid soil we are so often exploring. Not ourselves geared for backpacking, there is however primitive camping within a hike that is one mile each way with each step the effort of lifting legs from a ground which is not anymore only wanting to engulf ones self. 

275 square miles of desert has been created. The Worlds largest gypsum dune fields and here we were amongst it all, us new here within this space, witnesses, up for the taking. Stone ridges, Soaptree Yuccas, bleached earless lizards. Other visitors on round boards surfing down the waves breaking the silence with their screams and laughter. Silence coming back enabling to once again take in the vistas and the feel of this desolate live land.

It all lays west of Alamogordo. The extension into the Mountains are closed to public access as being used by the military for the various kinds of weapons testing which includes the Trinity Site where the first atomic bomb was detonated in July of 1945. These are the flats of the Tularosa Basin where for thousands of years the prevailing westerly winds have deposited this gypsum powder formerly eroded from the nearby San Andreas Mountains and washed down by rainwater and deposited in the seasonal Lake Lucero. Magic in the making.

Unforgettable experience? Yes it was, specially on this day gifted with the clouds of many. No footprints ahead, only the wind created ripples and lizard tracks welcoming. More magic when daylight started to fade behind this day when the sand took on a reddish pink hue and as the surface patterns became more pronounced as the shadows lengthen. An overwhelming sense of Peace and stillness descends, and when the Sun finally dips below the San Andreas Mountains, for a few minutes the land itself is bathed in a mysterious light, as the sands themselves seem to glow while the horizon on all sides becomes dark.

Camping by “Three Rivers” in New Mexico has only been the tip of the iceberg exploring this gifted State we never preciously quite spend much time within. The cold and the shorter days have been a bit rougher on us than thought. Our Friends Mark and Brenda are in need of a “house sitter” for Spirit’s Girl Friend “Mya”. On to Green Valley for a few days before taking off again… Hot showers, food stores, heat, all is not sounding too bad for that length of time at the present. A visit to “Fort Stanton” first however.

“Hey Ara! I’m working on building a website for my business….can I have my web developer "STEAL" some of your photos? Or we can pay you if you insist!!!”. It is almost a Daily affair I deal with. Photos are on Smugmug and if you do not see the one you are looking for, you can write to me and I will put it up. We survive from the sales of Photos and since the “One-Pan Recipe” Store has now free downloads also from contributions from that particular site.

Be well… Always.
Ara and Spirit

“My  Personal Daily Therapy, published Weekly or so…”

“I want to see your smile, when you look up the sky I want to watch your face, when you think you’re going to cry. I never thought you’d come, and I never thought you could stay. You’ve got me in your Heart and I never want to be away.”
~ Danny Gillan ~ [Will you Love me Tomorrow]

An e mail yesterday from a Reader. ”Nathan Lee”. Late at night, after an emotional day I am listening to his words and his Music. What would be the chances for such happening? What a beautiful song…

“A Singer, who Sings Songs about desperation for those in despair, who no longer wish to be desperate.
A Songwriter, who Writes Songs about brokenness for the brokenhearted, who no longer wish to be broken.” ~ Nathan Lee ~

“Silent Crosses” from his Album “Bar Room Hymns”

Santa Nino de Atocha Church

If I only knew what guides us throughout this Journey. Or should I say "who"? I keep asking myself that question on these days when all are moments after moments of discoveries which leave me so speechless. I know and have no doubt this is Lance’s doings, his vigilant and forever guardianship toward us. It does not take long to fall into a timeless space. Every instant of them all are amazing. Finding this campsite is. Remote and yet offering some comfort even if the night time cold is present and right now the winds are fierce. The White Sand Dunes National Monument where a present. The skies could have been only of her clear blue but instead filled with such an indescribable show of clouds and colors as if the Dunes themselves where not enough to entice me spending the day in a deep stupor.

Why do I then ask myself if I am so aware of the answer? Could all be a Dream of a Dream? Can this truly be a present reality as truly what is our reality? Endless questions. Endless spaces which have been awaiting to be discovered. This week is here not by choice. Nothing is quite clear. I wonder if I have been running away and Mother Nature is feeling as her own need to nurture me as so much as keeping my attention not letting me go as often as I should not toward a Day of Eight Years past.

It is today a cold and rainy day. The bigger tent has become very useful including a catalytic heater while harbored in throughout the evenings before moving on to Sherpa for a good night sleep. The drops are now heard in full strength. What a switch from yesterday when we rode all day in a loop that took us up to 8000 feet throughout some beautiful curvy roads. We stopped at Fort Stanton where we will go back Saturday when the Museum will be open. Much History present. Not the most uplifting as is never the case when wars are involved, yet a slice of past years is always interesting.

Blabbing away I feel, a heavy chest these days again. The little Church up the Hill a few miles away will be my refuge in a couple of days. I stumbled on it the first day here. What would be the chances? I like little Churches, specially on a special day as this January 26th. I will light many candles, many for all the Children that have left us too soon leaving us behind with too often too many questions. 8 Years. I have now many Friends which also wear my veil of times and this day will also be for them.

Heavy storms last night and today was as if the curtain suddenly was raised up. Calm it was and I appreciated the moments before these winds picked up and again we are in the tent. Just laying here, we are not going anywhere. Spirit is outside working on his tan while I gladly fetch his food and water. My constant companion. So much together we have seen, so many places we have discovered. An amazing feat I feel. I don’t think I would make it without him by my side. There is nothing I can ask of him he has not done and does. I was thinking this morning who else in their right mind would as such live with me. He is one that does not curtail my freedom and my constant indecisions of the path we are on. How strange Life has become when I cannot answer simple questions such as "when" and "where". Because truly I have no clue mostly dictated by the weather and beauty awaiting at such and such destinations.

Such an unbalanced Life I feel. And yet if unbalance was not present how would I know where these years have taken us. I still see Spirit from years ago locked up in that cage, ribs protruding, scared but resigned to his past Life which was only bringing him no Life within days of our meet. What a look his eyes had. Not a moment I will ever forget. And today he is Mr. Spirit! The one that has put on the miles throughout this country with a constant smile. I myself read again what my Journal contained 5 years ago, 4 years, 3 years. I never believed changes would take place. They are not changes of less pain, they are changes of the ability to handle the pain in a better fashion. To remember the good times with Lance, to understand so truthfully how this path has brought on so many Friends as we daily often carry each other. There would not be a balance without unbalance. So much has been learned. It is amazing.

No one has been here all day. I am discovering every square inch of this little Church perched at the bottom of these Mountains. I am still amazed being here. But maybe not. Stranger events have happened too often to really wonder more. Eight candles are lit. I sit here, full at times, empty other times, how many tears can one shed? This was his last afternoon. There is a clock on the wall and the big hand of the seconds is breaking the present silence. Click, click, click…. Time. It is only going forward. Never backwards. What a wish that would be. The now’s disappear so quickly, there is no more time to waste and yet that is all I have left ahead. I am the only one hearing it. What solitude this is. Another year ahead to confront, climb and try to not fall.

“Hey Ara! I’m working on building a website for my business….can I have my web developer "STEAL" some of your photos? Or we can pay you if you insist!!!”. It is almost a Daily affair I deal with. Photos are on Smugmug and if you do not see the one you are looking for, you can write to me and I will put it up. We survive from the sales of Photos and since the “One-Pan Recipe” Store has now free downloads also from contributions from that particular site.

Be well… Always.
Ara and Spirit

Our Photos are on “Smugmug”. The “One-Pan” Recipe store is open. If you would like a Photo not in a Gallery please e mail me and I will send you a Download. Trying to share and fueling the tank.  Thank you.

“My  Personal Daily Therapy, published Weekly or so…”

Our last ride through Big Bend National Park before leaving. One more breath taken throughout what I often call “Home” as the Years indulge their own existence on us.

Beautiful River Rd Eastbound

 

Morning. Fervor is present. We are leaving today and I need to calm down. I am surprising myself. How many times have we left? Do we really leave or is all this the continuation of the links offered from a few years past? Countless and "that feeling" is always there if not heightened from the times passing.
I cannot ever leave "The Oasis" in the morning. It has to be later on the day as we always end up only a few miles from here. I thought I had repacked. I have not. My attention having been on "Old Faithful", on the more physical demands of our vehicles, on… I forget what. I cannot handle a list, the game would be unfair, too easy. I have to think or not and move on one step at the time as a 12 course meal which eventually presents itself ready for the taking and rolling on with ease… yet, always a behind the scene questions if I have forgotten anything. Of course I have not. This is Old School. I only make it harder on myself because I like it as such. The certain challenge has to be present.

In Ancient Civilizations, when the Family was ready to move on to their next destination, when all was packed, when all was said and done, they would instead all geared up and all dressed up sit for a while and "think". Think about their packing, they would think about their destination, they would already be as traveling with their Soul, be prepared for what the road and the elements might or would throw at them. Calm… they would become. It is a fashion I have learned to profess and has saved me more than once from forgetting some gear or being mentally unprepared for the road.

I also follow a similar aspect when I am breaking camp… when I am fueling… . As others might approach me, I do not speak and go on with my doings. They understand, or more often I very quickly explain in one sentence as to myself not being distracted. The one time I broke my own rule as also when rolling away I have to make sure Spirit is fine, do a quick visual on "Old Faithful", no wires are crossed, I forgot my phone loose on a saddlebag. By the time I found it returning a couple miles later, it had already been run over by a truck and I did not have insurance on it, which I do now. Flat as a pancake.

First night away from The Oasis in a while. We did not get very far. Marfa’s Lights. Maybe we will see them. We will sleep here. They have bathrooms and such luxury is nice while on the road. The skies again tonight turned red. The horizon here is flat, the sky is not. We saw the lights. What a mystery they are, at times seven of them. It must have been a good night. They are not headlights as they have at one time on one evening even closed the roads to prove such a point. There was no crowds, just a few as us as the word "headlight" was present however amongst them all. I don’t have a lens to accommodate such a photos. Maybe some day.

We did not spend the night on "that" Parking Lot but went back to Marfa a few miles away. It seems at times I do not pay attention as well as I should. Half asleep the first time I thought I was being getting trampled by a train as even Sherpa and my sleeping bag shook. I was parked only maybe 150 feet from the train track. It was amazing and while morning came and light made it’s presence I could barely wake up groggy from the multiple awakenings of the worse kind. Great first night away.

My anticipation is heightened while in Las Cruces now. Going over maps with my Friend Jake who knows this State better than anyone else. I already am aware a couple months as slow as we move on is barely going to scratch the surface of the spaces present throughout this State we never quite explored.

It is nightfall. Las Cruces is also now behind us after in such a short time probably gaining a few pounds. Food and the Cities. There are no compromises there. It is all or nothing. Generally all. Much mapping, a few hours, notes written and some stored in memory hoping it will remain active. Three Rivers Petroglyphs site for the night or most likely a few as this is a good Base Camp. It did not take me long to fall into that Homeless Groove as I now call it. The plans went out the window very quickly. And again I was lucky to stumble on some free BLM camping and a hill with a path leading to more than 20,000 Petroglyphs. Amazing. Amazing as is the weather just right while bundled up and sitting here in the dark writing my mind.

You be well… Always. We will be also…

Ara and Spirit

“My  Personal Daily Therapy, published Weekly or so…”

Our Photos are on “Smugmug”. The “One-Pan” Recipe store is open. Trying to share and fueling the tank.  Thank you.

"Nothing can describe overwhelming grief that takes over like a virus, deadens each cell of the body, and consumes every second you breathe." "You owe no apologies to anyone – especially yourself – for taking time to find a way out of this."
~ Jodi LaPalm ~ [Still Life]

I always liked “Lyle Lovett”. I love the humor in this song of his called “Here I am”. Must be heard to the last word…

Quiet this morning, only an airplane buzzing, unusual, must be a local pilot from Terlingua taking advantage of the Sun up in full force. Frost is everywhere, Spirit is looking at me with those imploring eyes "please take me out…". Just a look, no begging as he tries to be comfortable but is not. OK, sorry, must be later than usual. I grab my coffee and we confront the day. I know it is glorious out there, unlike yesterday when the grays remained throughout the resemblance of a guessed daylight. It is time to get it together and go through every items we own and will take with us in a few days. I should know by now, I do, it is more of a game than anything else. Still carrying items I have not used in years as I know as soon as I leave them behind I will need them.

 

It is going to be a very slow going. I want to taste the road again, every square inch of it. As I taste "The Oasis". The path will be familiar in the beginning as Las Cruces to visit my Friends will be one of our first stop, and yet, I want to see what I have never seen before. There is always something new, something overlooked, a feel not felt before, a texture, a color, an old building, an abandoned vehicle, a local waiving for whom I will make a U Turn and chat and let the day escape as when darkness descend only to realize we have only gone a few miles.

The comfort of "The Oasis" will be left behind. A new comfort will take place, a different mental one, the thirst for the road ahead will be quenched. We know what to do, we know how to go about it even if so we will never graduate from the lessons received, but yet, none of the motions are unfamiliar to us. The subconscious will have Plan B and even Plan C always on alert, a space to rest our bodies for the night will be seeked early in the afternoon giving me time to cook a meal, sometimes only a resemblance of one, maybe a welcome shower as RV parks only for a couple dollars are always offering even if not spending the night on their premises. Stay out of sight from the mainstream for a good night sleep being able to in the morning have some good coffee and move on… or stay for days if a welcoming stage has been found.

There is nothing like it. How did I acquire such a taste I too often wonder. My Ancestors roamed the lands of Eastern Europe so many Centuries ago. Their fervor must have trickled into my own veins never questioning this Lifestyle embraced. Maybe sometimes I do question it. When the cold penetrates and moves in, when the rain for days does not stop downward, sideways, helped by the ferocious winds turning our gear into a wet blob. It was when the mosquitoes defiant to everything tried never gave up their attacks. Yet as soon as the vision of a comfortable condo appears in my mind, (I like the word "condo"!), it all sounds so sterile and bland and boring as the feeling of four walls making the space smaller and smaller appears not too far behind.

I feel as I am criticizing so many as such. Oh! I am not… There was a time when the shaggy rug felt good under my feet, when the showers, hot for that matter, where of many, when the kitchen, cooking space, all was larger than two square feet, when cold air blew in the summer and hot air kept me warm in the winter, when flushing was a reflex! Millions cannot be wrong, I know I am the odd one. For now. Clueless of what is ahead I can only adventure myself into what feels right even if harsh too often for my sometimes aging and aching bones.

One day at the time "things" are getting done. Yesterday "Old Faithful" received a new tire, a speedometer cable, spark plugs and something else I cannot remember. Still left is an oil change which is out of the question today. It was a nice short sleeve T Shirt day and overnight the temperatures dropped as now the cold wind is howling as still the night time darkness is present. Amazing it is while walking this land so bare and suddenly in contrast from it’s yesterday’s warm welcome this morning it is as trying to get me back from where I came from. We can endure it, it is only a matter of dressing up warm, taking the time we have to do so as each day becomes such a different chapter in our Life. We are going to the snow.

There is as a "block" of remembrance in my Heart these days. I am looking at a Calendar every day and reliving the days past of the last January Lance was here. I cannot help it. I instead embrace it with the the strong need of surmounting the emotions present. Everyone’s senses were so heightened. There was no loud noises or voices but only whispers. The air was thick, barely breathable as if the oxygen needed was slowly being taken away also from us. The eyes, the looks. That is what I remember the most. One could read the whole story through our eyes which looked at each other filled with a non belief toward what was happening as if not real, as if not wanting to be real. We looked at each other as wanting to speak but could not pronounce our thoughts ever. We looked at each other trying to find a better reality but yet we knew, knew so deeply these where the last days, the last moments.

It is a reel played in slow motion that I now continuously see, watch, feel. There were the times when finally "hope" was lost as we all turned to believing our Lance was finally going away into a better place as his suffering, his own emotional and physical pain had reached a stage which made us wonder why such moments where present in one’s Life. In my Son’s Life. There was no strength left, our eyes turned red from the tears which then never stopped as we stopped ourselves trying to hold back. Our chests weighed as never before, as an enclave was resting suddenly part of us. We stopped eating, we stopped it all. We waited and we Loved and Loved some more, and more. How helpless we felt!

I decided to giving a try with Children Photography, and Dogs also, maybe Dogs and their Buddies… I am finding it being therapeutic, this is what I got so far… No Dogs yet though!

You be well… Always. We will be also…

Ara and Spirit

“My  Personal Daily Therapy, published Weekly or so…”

"Two trains passing each other in the dark, their headlights on high beams scanning, searching, wind pool, the ground and Life itself shakes. Soon the silence recaptures the stage present, the sparks no more glow on the rails, all again is quiet. The smell of metal to metal dissipates. Maybe another time, another space, maybe they will stop? Maybe… Some day?" 

Beautiful roads in Big Bend Park.

 

It was a couple rough days. January takes me on that path. The one I relive from 8 years past. The last days of Lance’s loss as I have come to terms with myself, this has been his loss as much as mine. Maybe more. There is no price tag stapled, there are no apples and oranges to compare, it is all within, we are both up and going together even if the physical entities do not match. A relapse, mine, the Human kind, what else is there? Two Dear Friends wrote to me yesterday, a couple more today, what a great uplift. They shared their own obstacles of Life. They opened up as never before as I now felt their own space and could communicate. I feel often selfish as yet my imposition is on no one but myself. The days past went on hazy, as fog had taken place on this stage replacing the beautiful weather we have presently. Short sleeve T Shirt after high noon. I only realized it a while ago when I emerged from it all and went on step by step confronting again this present with a due Gratitude and a ride throughout Big Bend Park at first stopping in Terlingua where always a surprise photo or two awaits.

What an incredible battle. These are the moments which at times make me feel so old, so slow, owing time while wondering which way is this all taking me. Feeling too much, thinking too much. Time to be awaken. Diversion is good. Mother Nature heals and so does the roads ahead. Change of plans, not a surprise from past experiences. My Mother decided to not come to Naples, FL, till October. No reason now for us to go East and put on an incredible mileage. We will head West for a while without much of a destination. New Mexico? Curious about Bisti which is BLM land. I have seen photos and they are mesmerizing. Push a bit further? Who knows. We are equipped for the cold, I am actually wanting to camp on the snow… and probably wish then it would be warmer! I don’t this this is going to be my smartest decision. So we are getting ready. An oil change, a new speedometer cable, rear brake pads park plugs and a rear tire. I should be able to handle it all in one day’s time. I am slow when it comes to mechanical doings.

Emerge… keep emerging… Every morning these past days I have seen a shooting Star on my first glimpse out of darkness. Wishes are made, thoughts take place, a smile forms and I hear "it’s all good". It has to be, effort is placed, one step at the time, going up right now. The elevator should not have too many more stops. I cannot help suddenly being excited about the snow I am envisioning. "Sherpa" will get us there safely and "Old Faithful" will take us around while there with much desires after riding on a trailer to point "mystery".

I know and feel my words in recent past as in "previous entry" might have been strong, or wide open to a mind here which incessantly travels even when still. It has generated a flow of words from Friends which had never as such before spoken. I felt "honored", I felt… the word escapes me, it is "good", I felt "trustworthy" of being the recipient of their own feelings as so many are of my own even if so I write for my companion "The Journal". Yes, I am happy about that, I did not expect such outpour. It is as so many now are on this stage all together as it does not matter if physically we are or not as if a curtain has been raised and here we all are conversing with our Hearts wide open.

Magic was yesterday as the skies filled with clouds moving fast and the Sun in full dress playing the lights with welcomed notes. Into the Park, "Big Bend Park", always the refuge for the mind and the Soul. The serene and quiet and such vast space always welcoming, always filled with more surprises regardless how many times we have been there. Down this road and up that road catching the hills at times shaded and other times illuminated by the end of the day with their golden glow only lasting minutes. The "golden hour" they call it, the hour to reminisce on the day as having waited for such a Gift it was, yesterday.  

There is a strong anticipation about our moving on. Winter times, cold, lets go and meet the snow, lets change the vision, lets sharpen the senses. Lets have some adventures for the soul as all is so related. I look at the map and realize that Bisti is way North. How cold will it be? I feel it, already. There are many other spaces and I know will be laid out ahead of us. Or a right or a left. The road is always crooked. We like it that way…

Till next time…

Our Photos are on “Smugmug”. The “One-Pan” Recipe store is open. Trying to share and fueling the tank.  Thank you.

Be well, Ara and Spirit

 

“My  Personal Daily Therapy, published Weekly or so…”

"We all are two… two extensions of ourselves, neither wrong, both the reality of ‘us’. The ‘proper’ one… social, urban… and then on the ‘inner’ one. The personal one. The true one. The deeper path. The ‘mind’ is the common denominator for both. Under the helmet, they become one and blend in as the prescription of Life laid ahead as the miles await and unravel… free for the taking!"

Always the greatest Music

 

Mid seventies these days. Last day of meds. Another New Year in a couple. Getting ready to head Eastbound for a while, it has been a long time. The demographics make me nervous. Will we find any isolation while camping? So much is running through my mind and yet should not. I know we will not find Utah in Alabama or Florida or Louisiana. It is not the point, I am aware of it. There is a different beauty and reality throughout the coastal states I see on the map. History, old buildings, locals to talk to, the water and more water, sea food and that is a big one with me… Must be prepared with the right frame of mind. Need to set aside it all for a few days actually as right now it is that time of the year to catch up on physical mail forwarded and piled up high, sell some items, stuff and more stuff. Amazing how it can accumulate as if a giant hand has brought in boxes and more boxes of such stuff and has thrown them in "Green Giant"!

I don’t know why I feel empty suddenly. As being on a trail that leads to nowhere. Again we have been still for too long. When will I come to terms with roots planted a bit firmer or is this will be the stage after stage endlessly? It probably is not a good time for me to write but all is bubbling, effervescent. I wish the brakes would loosen a bit. Must be the Year end. I know it is. It was a full one and yet as always my "Gratitude" is so present, more than ever. Medical problems, mechanical. We came through, all came through one step at the time as here we are mobile and healthy.

I know what I want. I will not have him. Year after year his absence weighs so terribly as I feel specially these present times of this present Year I am only trying to drop a curtain to separate me from a reality I have always embraced. I do embrace it, I want to, it tears me apart, time does not heal the wounds, it only, I really don’t know what it does. Only confuses me too often just when I think I am climbing away from any turmoil. I need to get away from here for now. There is a lot going on in Terlingua. Many Friends also. We do have roots, a bit, a few inches into the ground.

2012. Here we are now. I always say "wow" when lacking for better words. What a great decision it was to go ahead and spend the New Year on and around the Porch in Terlingua. At least till 10 pm as the big clock on the wall showed. It felt as it should have been Midnight. It was my Midnight, for us. I met a reader I had never spoken to before, Jane. We had a nice conversation. I saw more than one familiar face, it was crowded, the notes were playing, more Friends present having dinner at the Starlight as I sat with them a while. We took the car and Spirit stayed in his bed, comfortable and warm. I am starting to like that car, "Sherpa". It is a great convenience when cold, when late and not having to gear up. This must be all about getting softer as I am coming to terms with it.

 

Parking Lot Music

 

New Year’s Day, we went back for more. The black eye-pea cook off, more Friends, more Music. A stage which occupied my mind and entertained my senses as  the grounds were filled with good humor and smiling faces, wishes of "Happy New Year" all around, uplifting and taking me away from where I do not need to be within. Another Friend showed up, his nephews with him from Mexico, they followed us mid afternoon as suddenly I had to leave to rejoin the quiet land of "The Oasis". They wanted to see how we live, the minor majority I am part of.

All is behind now, a long list of to do’s faces me. I think it is a long one but I know it is not, just a matter of covering all the bases of our needs while we embrace those roads we have not adventured on for the past five years. Be ready for the experiences which will be different from times past. For the first time draw a map, find the Parks we can stay on for free. Map is done, more or less this is the idea and suddenly it seems as a long way while we move on since we want to be back early April. Why plan though? We never have before. My Mother from Munich is thinking about spending the month of March in Naples, Florida, and it is the idea to be together for those times. I do hope she takes the trip.

How strange moments flow and all ties in. I always feel, I must say, a bit apprehensive, a bit deviant, when I meet a reader. It was as such with Jane and the conversation went on about the context contained within these pages and chapters. I am never uncomfortable and yet, she knew more about me that I knew about her. We talked about this theory of mine which I find being a reality. "We" each have two faces, two appearances, extensions, and they are each truthful. The first one I was telling her while chatting was the one present, "now". The one we have when we meet others, the smiles, the words, the "proper" one… The second goes in much deeper as I told her I really did not know her, know the intimate facets of her Life as she knows of mine. I did not even know if she had children, or how many? Her health? How "is she really… really doing?". No one truly talks about it… and that I feel is a bit sad. What is there to hide? Can’t we truly care about each other?

I do. I do because I talk to myself within these pages and so I went on also with my first face these two days, the "proper" one. Effervescent, yes… the other one became, as the mind of both is the common denominator and cannot be separated. The gears continue working, well oiled or not, they move on forward. It is easy for me here, the inner ‘me’ is always present. And this afternoon, while "paper-working", I came across Lance’s Photo Album. One photo a month before he left us. It was not a mistake, it never is, but Cancer had changed my Boy as words "do not" want to describe. The skies dropped in this empty Desert, lonely I felt, so lonely. A cold came upon me as if suddenly I was standing bare and all surrounding me was vacuumed by this giant force. Why go on? Nothing suddenly mattered and how even sadder no one to truly talk to. What an irony as only this vast and empty space heard my sounds and witnessed my tears as I felt once again pushed back deep into this past reality I never stopped confronting.

Not much sense of it all really. Not much sense at all wearing these shoes. What a giant piece of luggage this is! Yet, I know I will make it through, as before and before…

Till next time…

Our Photos are on “Smugmug”. The “One-Pan” Recipe store is open. Trying to share and fueling the tank.  Thank you.

Be well, Ara and Spirit

"Hurt is the The Teacher, Wisdom is the Lesson" . The key to healing whatever tests Life brings to us is that we can hurt only when we’re ready to hurt. That is, when we already have all of the emotional tools to heal our pain can we draw to us the experiences to demonstrate our mastery."
~ Gregg Braden ~

“Spellbound”, from the Album “Rendez Vous” by “Doug Cameron”. Loving his Violin sound…

I don’t think this Dinner had anything to do with my thoughts of the time. The 340 miles round trip and another Traveler’s letter did. The photos are captioned…

Long ribbon of road ahead this morning, this is the day of a dinner I was hired for in Marathon. This is of a physical ribbon slowly switching itself to a mind set getting lost in thoughts. Long straightaways of black tar, it makes me think. I have to look at it as it could not have happened at a better time, as yesterday, before shopping time for ingredients, I had to squeeze in a visit to the Dr. It had become a must, painful lungs where screaming. Why waited? 2 shots, antibiotics for a week, inhaler. Always a dilemma when Health Insurance is missing as so is for many others combined with positive thinking, "things" will get better, as yet they did not. The wet and cold and foggy penetrating ride from Austin only worsened the matter. This was a bit of extra falling from the skies around this time of Christmas and a while back I would have looked at the situation with a different sense, disturbed for sure as here it comes and there it goes. Today however, I am filled with gratitude that indeed this falling from the sky opportunity was going to allow me to take care of my health. I stayed ahead and broke the strings as the cure was now affordable.

Health cannot be tentative, it is not a luxury, it is an ongoing personal trek. Such a good example was of this past summer having to sell my two cameras in exchange for a biopsy. It had to be done. Those cameras meant the world to me, not as their physical entity, but what they represented as an extension of our Journey. They were as alive going up and down the paths we had been with their ability to capture the sights and moments witnessed. They were one family as with "Old Faithful", they were not just machines and objects. They went away to one buyer in that brown box. There is really a story to them however as when they reached their destination one was broken. Of course I was responsible for it and it just happened that the buyer lived only a few minutes from a Canon repair center. I expressed that I would cover the costs of such repair. He took them to the Center and they end up repairing, not one but both at no charge, changing the mirrors and sensors. What Faith of Life was that? Same as above for these present days.

The strings were attached only for such a short time, I thought for ever but were not. A few days ago I received an e mail from another Traveler who is now roaming South America. He is on his own Spiritual Journey as Spirituality surfaces when we seek answers when hiking the Valleys a bit too long after a downfall Life serves us. His Journey is the result of a lost Love. Lost Love is so painful. It derives from our such deep rooted emotions we hardly have any control over when it suddenly vanishes with our inability to grasp it and only endure it’s consequences of a stage lacking when as such left alone. There is nothing so more important I feel in Life as the Love we have for others, Soul Mates, Friends, acquaintances, our buddies, all the entities surrounding us which are alive, which can bounce back and forth with such emotions so often overtaking us.

I always felt we are as the caretakers of this giant Noah’s Ark and once thrown off the boat the pain becomes insurmountable too often as we can then barely swim on it’s wake. We try not to sink as the horizons swallows the presence that was once part of us. We try to swim harder and harder as too often our own strength diminishes not from our wanting but only because the Human Kind can only take so much abuse. Our Hearts swells up, our eyes tear up, our throats choke as we search and search for a step above and not below as we have already gone down too deep, as the walls have become already so dark that we can barely even see and feel ourselves.

 

Topping for the melted Brie

 

The strings break, they are too often replaced with the chains that weigh us down. We think. We want to climb, some of us do, all of us can. A spark is striked, the Faith of Life shows us as such for the more fortunate ones. We struggle, we try to come to terms with ourselves, with the present path and Life itself. We read, we listen, we hear. Friends come forward, they speak. We listen more. Sometimes we understand, and sometimes we do not. Often the chains will break and yet the strings still keep us on a track we do not want to be on. Some of us write, expel the weight, we write to us, we write for ourselves and not for others as only the truth of the reality can be directed towards one’s own Soul.

 

No fingers lost…

 

My Friend thanks me for the pages I have written as he wishes he could also do as such. Which he can, he can only if he lets go of those strings as he is also fortunate for his now broken chains. My question was, "who do you write for?". What is the core of the direction you have taken? What is your purpose of this wonderful Journey on such Foreign lands amongst such wonderful Civilizations? To witness them or witness your own? The strings will always be there if always trying to enlighten others with entertainment and only totally cut off if replaced by ribbons flowing through the wind when and if the time comes for "my" and "self" starting to elevate themselves to also flow freely acquiring an understanding which is such a must throughout our nights and days emerging from a state of our lost Loves.

He knows "writing" as also "riding" is such a therapy. Not a coincidence they both sound alike. Every mile ridden, every twist of the road, every stop on a shoulder, each new face met becomes a parallel with a mind set to liberate ourselves. Every physical moment becomes the introduction for the mind to correlate in words our own savior and make the whole the incredible experience few of us can understand as this is not about the quantity of the miles ridden, the speed witnessing the double yellow lane rushing past us as a constant blur, it is not about the roar of the engine but about the thunder and the rumble of our thoughts triggered by such path.

The potholes, the cracks on the paved roads, the ruts and mud and rocky terrains and loose gravel on the unpaved roads, the wildlife jumping in front of us, the burros crossing, the dogs chasing us, the cars with their mad drivers ignoring the basic laws of the roads, the giant centipedes and their dozens of wheels cutting us off right and left, the locals curious of our looks and machines. So much more. We know too well the components which make our days what they are. And when all stops, quiet and calm, when the ignition is turned off and a pen and paper is in front of us, that is when the thoughts of the days mixed in with the physical entities of the same day finally in words allow us to cut off the strings we do not need or want no more attached as our freedom and our growth is indeed what we seek.

The strings have to be cut. Mine are, they have now been replaced by these flowing ribbons, this liquid path running deep, encompassing my Friends, everyone that has come across us at one time or another. Freedom has slowly made it’s way as emerging from a dark past Life into a present one more radiant than ever even if so the shadows of my own lost Love will never ever dissipate as they will always stay alive looked upon them, tried to be looked upon them with only skimming it’s good memories which at times finally puts on a smile even if they are mixed in with a flow of tears only Human as we all are.

It so much, all has come down to sharing, as such without withholding as none of our inner times are secrets for anyone as we are all so alike thinking only wrongly so I myself feel we are not. Sharing the words, the photos, food, videos, everything that will allow one to cut those string tying anyone down resulting in an immobility unhealthy for so many various reasons.

Till next time…

Our Photos are on “Smugmug”. The “One-Pan” Recipe store is open. Trying to share and fueling the tank.  Thank you.

Be well, Ara and Spirit

“My  Personal Daily Therapy, published Weekly or so…”

“Pride and self-confidence grew continually stronger in him; he was becoming a different man every moment. What was it had happened to work this revolution in him? He did not know himself; like a man catching at a straw, he suddenly felt that he, too, ‘could live, that there was still Life for him, that his Life had not died…’.”
~ Fyodor Dostoyevsky ~ “Crime and Punishment”

“Van Morrison”, a Legend in his own rights also a great Saxophonist as in his Album “Poetic Champions Compose”. This is called “Allow me”. Fitting.

I have been very much into the “black and white” photography space lately, yet I feel it is indeed colorful… Some are new, some are from a recent past. Yes, they each have their story within their moment. Maybe some day? Around a campfire?

Third day the skies have closed in on us. Seems as the hanging low dark and gray clouds have followed from Austin. Sorry "City", nothing personal. A cold and a cough and a sore throat now have taken possession infringing on my mind and in reality giving it a break from any thoughts. Kind of nice actually as a forced mental vacation toward anything also physical that needs to get done around here. Like unpacking, changing oil and a tire… all can wait as only reading, sleeping and trying to eat is taking place. My long walks with Spirit have been curtailed. I know he understands. He understands everything about this Life of ours, it is him fully always here with his wagging tail. I am so fortunate.

It is truly a mindful break as thinking starts and goes nowhere as there is nowhere to go and if there is, there is a halt in this process which was so fluid just a few days ago. I look forward to sleeping. How much can someone sleep? Managed to watch a brainless Movie a while ago which I cannot now even remember it’s name. I think it was a good prescription to escape such present conditions. It was as looking in this strange World through this window unlatched I could open. More low clouds made Nine Points look as it was wearing a hat, one constantly changing the form of it’s brim. I took one picture. That was that and laid down again, not much strength is left.

Beautiful Mother Nature always even if hiding the Sun from us. Then I read some more. My attention span is also short and to make the matters sometimes better and sometimes worse, it is Christmas week. And we are alone. I try so hard but the joys of the past are just not present. Moments come in waves as sometimes I imagine myself into another space, this present one which I try to hold on to, one that has stored everything everyone has lost. It is a huge shelter, a gigantic warehouse where everything and everyone from times past is and are here. I walk through it, the aisles, I am only looking for my Son. I have not found him yet, physically that is, but I am very close. Those times put a smile on my face. It is imagination but I believe in it, I know it is real and that is the only aspect that matters.

I lay down with Spirit. He is such a comfort with those imploring eyes looking at me. We have in winter times a different closeness from throughout the other seasons. It is more a closer one on one physical presence since the weather does not permit us to spend as much time outdoor. Lots of talking, scratching as he will never have enough of it, often both laying down playing with a stick I move around as he tries to put his paw on it but never does like a game he lets me win. We talk a lot, I think I do more than he does. He is such a softie, has such a heart, he is so unique and so tough all at the same time.

I have lately been glancing at many "ride reports" from all over the World. I ask him if he wants to go as my own desire is always there. I have even checked the rules of his own entry in many countries. It is not a big deal for the ones that do not enforce a quarantine. I watch some of the videos, places I myself have been in my youth while living in Europe, the itch is there and yet I also know they are hard times when such Life has such different customs, languages, safety zones so different from here.

I think about not being here in winter times. My projects are taking a certain shape as my Photo Galleries, this e-Store fueled by so many requests, I have even started writing a Fiction Book! It is so much fun to write fiction. Maybe because I have written too much of "reality". It is so amusing to have a character and have this character do everything I want him to do. I don’t know where it is going, I do know one thing certain, if ever published, it will have to be under an assumed name. So I do think going East, but I love this space we are now in… delirious I think I am getting. The thinking has to stop.

I can tell it is winter! Rambling to no end…. losing my footage at times. Give it a few days, feel better, let the Sun shine again, let this Christmas be once again lived with the good and plentiful memories of my times with Lance, then again I will think about all this….. or maybe not. In the meantime, there will be a nice campfire roaring, Spirit will be laying next to me, I will be looking at the Stars and wishing all my Friends, one by one because I do know them all, a very "Happy and Merry Christmas". They will hear me… as Lance will also. Who knows, I might even find him on this crowded stage where everything lost from the past comes here and eternally rests. Finally.

Till next time…

Our Photos are on “Smugmug”. The Recipes are downloads here The “One-Pan” Recipe store. Trying to share and fueling the tank.  Thank you.

Be well, Ara and Spirit

Daily thoughts on a sometimes weekly basis…

"When we fail to understand the real nature of our connection to place,
and refuse to understand that connection other than in terms of ownership and control,
then not only have we misunderstood ourselves,
but we have also lost any real sense of place as such.
To have a sense of place is not to own, but rather to be owned by
the places we inhabit; it is to ‘own up’ to the complexity and mutuality
of both place and human being." 
~  Jeff Malpas ~

Slow and fast, all mixed into this melody called “Rebirth”, it reminds me of our stay in Austin these past few days. [Max Roach with Anthony Braxton from the single “Rebirth]

My thoughts were bouncing around these past few days while in Austin as I write this after the words below. Here and now back at "The Oasis", a gift the first evening here, a more than glorious Sunset. My own document of days in another Urban environment and there is not a single doubt in my mind, not that there ever was, yet reinforced today, my space is of the utmost importance for my sanity! Is it being spoiled on such isolated stages? Is it having the ability to only think straight while us more or less alone with no walls surrounding us? Yes, and more yes. There is no right and there is no wrong. Planet Earth is a vast Space, populated and unpopulated… the later is for us. A must. Everything else is just too late for us.

 

It is afternoon, our first in Austin, outskirts, is it too late I am thinking, it is not Austin, it is me. The forever feeling of stiffened mind has so quickly penetrated my inners. I am ready to turn around and head back to nowhere as long as the open road’s smiling face will at least show if only an inclination of a slight welcome. Like a fast speed download it took no time for the lid to cover me as wanting me well done and trying to take me back from the Life chosen on the other side. It is amazing, it is the strongest pull I have ever felt. The deeper I plunge the stronger the Urban tentacles are showing their true character. A couple more days and we shall backtrack, I am not stable, my heart is beating fast, faster throughout the errands almost done. I have no patience right now as I should be giving it a chance.

Though, I am happy to feel this, it only shows I am on the right path, right for us, not necessarily for anyone else. There is too much left behind for the sane to take that step. I ride back these past recent years and have so much gratitude toward Friends, their words of wisdom, the Books read and paragraphs highlighted, quotes found opening doors onto rooms of the mind still obscure, and more quotes, some, having been already played and now amazed to read them in the author’s words such as the above one. I feel it every time setting up camp within those magical spaces, I feel it more here at "The Oasis", the feel of such good fortune to have the freedom for us to enjoy this ground. The "ownership" is only a formality, a legal one… we never own it. We truly never own anything.

Yet sometimes words are strongly forced without a comprehension of our Lifestyle. My Friend here tells me this should be, "should be", a new beginning for me. I should divorce myself from the pain I sometimes carry and surfaces in ripples throughout awaken hours and should only embrace the joys from past and present times. Now. "I do"… "I do…", I insist that I try, but how can anyone give such advice when their own shoes worn do not fit? Forceful feeling from others only makes me turn away. I am always so thankful from an earful of advices, they are the words that make sense, they are the ones that sound so good, the ones I hike after uphill and sometimes slipping "downhill". Talk, talk and more talk. So easy, as writing and writing, so simple. It is the doing, the building, the swallowing of the lessons thrown and caught in mid air which their grasp becomes difficult. It is the next step seen and wanted, the muscles get tired and don’t pull as hard as before.

It’s OK. I smile. I feel as there is a wall in our conversation. It is there because of this "unknown" to so many "the stage" we live on. Just another day and again I will breathe as I am, indeed so "grateful" toward what I see and feel, even here thrown into this environment telling me more strongly than ever "you do not belong". Grateful. Yes, I am of course. I don’t loose sight of it, I cannot. The next day has arrived. I finally sit back here and able to separate myself and on this end I am now the spectator. I breathe easier. The vacuum has let off it’s pressure, I see the door, the movements from others and I am starting to understand that I do not need to understand as they cannot feel me. No harm. How can they when such time has been spent for so long in the womb of Mother Nature and they have not, when one lives and breathe on the other side of the coin with only the knowledge that both sides are only mirrors of each other. 

I smile again and look up the skies remembering "Is that so….". Thinking it. Smiling more and now laughing finding all so easy… "Is that so?". I don’t anymore understand such present surroundings and this incredible fast stage, busy, noisy, yet I respect out of must as others do to me. Sometimes they don’t, often they do. I start dreaming with my eyes and senses wide open. Dreaming is nice in winter times. I have faith in my dreams, I have hope.

“A beautiful girl in the village was pregnant. Her angry parents demanded to know who was the father. At first resistant to confess, the anxious and embarrassed girl finally pointed to Hakuin, the Zen master whom everyone previously revered for living such a pure life. When the outraged parents confronted Hakuin with their daughter’s accusation, he simply replied "Is that so?"
When the child was born, the parents brought it to the Hakuin, who now was viewed as a pariah by the whole village. They demanded that he take care of the child since it was his responsibility. "Is that so?" Hakuin said calmly as he accepted the child.
For many months he took very good care of the child until the daughter could no longer withstand the lie she had told. She confessed that the real father was a young man in the village whom she had tried to protect. The parents immediately went to Hakuin to see if he would return the baby. With profuse apologies they explained what had happened. "Is that so?" Hakuin said as he handed them the child.”

I read this to detach myself. To stay planted a bit stronger. To have the ability following my thoughts and my humble desires from the road. Winter has already become constraining. The shorter days are limiting us to move on from point A to point B. The cold, as mild as it is adds to the lesser time again while riding. Austin has this gray blanket not lifting and just hanging every time I look up, I have yet to see the Sun these past couple of days as I now realize we cannot leave till Monday morning. That’s tomorrow. And yes, I think how deeply rooted we are, and I say "we" as Spirit also is, on our own stage, one unfamiliar with some mind’s reasoning. Unfamiliar is also my loss experienced even if so I have come such a long way from the depth of a Life hardly manageable.

We turned the tables on Saturday. "Lone Star BMW" in Austin was a good time. One of the main aspect is the fact that Spirit did really well. There had to be a 1000 people present, bikes were parked a block or two away. Many Friends and what a surprise when I found out that I won a very nice helmet! A flip up which I might wear and which will allow me to take photos without going through the 14 steps of "everything about the neck" removal! The food… the sweets themselves, well, we will be back next year no doubt! They start baking early November and all the way to the time we left the table was still full. I must have been eating and more eating as surprisingly even carrying my small camera, I did not take a single photo of the food! I just cannot believe that. Finally, I must have been lost in the moment.

The next night a good Friend picked us up for a brief visit to "Whole Food Market" for my favorite Peanut Butter which was on sale. The store on a Sunday afternoon was mobbed, carts where full, elbow to elbow I kept bumping into others as I started wondering where was the recession "Whole Food" being a pretty expensive, I would even say, a very expensive store. A quick visit to REI, just looking… nice clothing, always asking myself "can I live without it?" as the answer is always "of course…". The highlight were the Food Trucks, the few open on a Sunday evening. I was looking for the unhealthy one! The grilled cheese with pulled pork and mac and cheese and who knows what else in between… We settled for some Thai Food and on next door for some I have to admit tasty "chocolate covered cake balls"!

We are back… we are back! Spirit is still asleep. He has endured a rough ride, a cold one, rainy and foggy. My eyes still hurt from trying to see! We shall now rest… and rest some more trying to now cure this cold and sore throat!

Till next time…

Take a look at my Photo Galleries. “Smugmug” stands for quality. The “One-Pan” Recipe store. Trying to share the Passion and keeping fuel in the tank… Thank you.

Be well, Ara and Spirit

“You are wise men indeed, listening to Mother Nature, listening to your body and enjoying friends. Just think, our rush-rush modern lifestyle is a mere blip in the history of humanity. Our ancestors took a rest when the winter solstice approached and took comfort from each other, wondered and marveled together at the earth, sun and stars. Perhaps that’s what’s missing in our modern lifestyle, and you are finding it again and sharing it with us.” ~ A Friend and a Reader “Zelda” ~

Rare are the ones expressing themselves such as “Gato Barbieri”. I love his Music, this is
“Earth Cry Heaven’s Smile” from his Album “Europa”. (1976)

I still remember arriving in San Antonio around 5 years ago this time as someone had pointed out this green blob on the map called "Big Bend". What is that? I asked. Texas to me was the big State one only went through taking Highway 10, in and out, no questions asked. A rest area or two to stretch, much fuel to cross it. How ignorant I was. "Old Faithful" was still kind of shiny, rust spots where not yet present, Spirit, well, Spirit really has not changed that much besides being now a grumpy old man at times and still today jumping and running like his regular self title "clown"… and the stubborn Buddy that he is, yet, always ready to please with so much care of a Golden Heart. I fell in Love with this space, the Park till today drops her veil of Spirituality when I enter and roam it’s land.

 

A December ride through Big Bend National Park

 

It is winter upon us and again we are here. Deeper rooted than ever, more in Love with this land by the day and adding the many new Friends and acquaintances by the week in Terlingua. I will use the word "Home"… I feel at "Home". An amazing concept which has been waiting for us throughout this path of years past. I even feel sad at times thinking we can never come here in summer times, we could not take such heat. This has become "ground zero". The thoughts of going are always present, it is an addiction I am well versed upon, the insatiable thirst for the road, but again, present times of the year holds me back. More or less. We stumbled upon the Porch on another Sunday afternoon, it is I think becoming a habit even if this time around, one more time, it was by pure Karma, events that lead us there.

We started for the Park, I always have a certain destination thinking. This time was going to be Marathon to Alpine and back here. This is the second time we don’t make it and I am taking this as a sign as to why have a destination? Away from here we generally do not. Why start now? We went thought the Park, always a nice ride on the deserted roads as few are around this time of the year, we made it through the "other side" exit gate and suddenly staring at me the dark clouds told me to turn around. Destination can make one loose the spice of the Journey is filled with, bland the flavor can become as the moments escape thinking of only the ones for when we arrive. 

Still early, I started imagining the $1 Tacos at the Starlight Theater Restaurant, tasty, good company, a ready dinner for less than I would spend on cooking. We did make that left turn. Big crowd gathered, Halloween was over and yet it was that atmosphere that prevailed added with a multitude of bicycles. Of course I thought, I had read it somewhere, the "crazy bicycle race" was ending by the Porch. More Musicians than the Sunday before where also gathered in the shade as Terlingua has it’s own weather. No dark clouds, only a few white puffs here and there and heat. What a good time it was. Just a plain good time!

 

On another Sunday afternoon on the Porch in Terlingua

 

Not writing much lately. Thinking more. We are right now half way to Austin parked in Del Rio for the night. A Motel Room, cheap and depressing. Four walls, a TV (???) and that is about it. Luxury is the shower… hot water… The bed is not even comfortable, might get my sleeping bag out for the floor if I want to sleep on THAT floor. Riding East… Thoughts of not stopping came upon me. We are only still in Texas, there are more States ahead of us. Just in time to realize that I do not have my camping gear with me, no cooking gear either meaning not even my coffee which I think is going to be a mistake… a big one. I already know that.

Winter months are so different when Mother Nature throws us those low temperatures as I keep thinking, there has to be something we can wear to not feel the cold at all. I know there is. Today was leather pants with two layers of Merino wool bottoms, one long sleeve polyester T shirt topped by another Merino wool long sleeve, heated Gerbings, a thin windproof and breathable layer and finally my riding jacket with a fleece turtle neck "thing". I almost strangled myself at first riding with the zippers all the way up my chin, was carried away covering every square inch of my body only to go through Marathon and start burning up. I think I chose a good time for this road trip, nowhere as bad as the predictions of "they said".

 

A tease of a song….

 

Yes, Winter Months are so different as again that thought crosses my mind this morning while still dark sipping on some not even passable coffee, but coffee, and glancing at "Old Faithful" sitting calmly in the cold. Cars are surrounding her and I wonder why do I have to be so different? Why could I not be like everyone else, dressed as everyone else, open a door, turn on a key, heater will come on and on we will go. The spark of yesterday’s ride played in fast forward as I remembered the feeling, the feeling I wished then and hope for everyone to experience. Even if only once. Open air, wind blowing, no constrains, a bit as flying on the road, seeing and feeling the true surroundings, seeing some more, the Soul elevated as no pains and aches no more present replaced by an euphoria unlike any other. No trade here, this is what it is all about… "riding" and the “freedom” of the road.

Till next time… enjoy.

Take a look at my Photo Galleries. “Smugmug” stands for quality. The “One-Pan” Recipe store. Trying to share the Passion and keeping fuel in the tank… Thank you.

Be well, Ara and Spirit

 

"You are what you are seeking. You are standing at exactly the place towards which you have been traveling — for seven years or seventy years or seven hundred years. Your reality is within you, it is not somewhere else. But to understand the point, sometimes it takes years. You knock on many doors before you come to your own door… and then you are puzzled, because this is the house you had left and this is the house you have been searching for. It takes time to realize that which you are. Basically there is no need: you can realize just now, this very moment. But to realize it you will need a certain maturity, a certain centering, a certain awareness, a certain silence." ~ OSHO ~

Today, my Friend Doug, as we were all working on our motorcycles, in an unexpected and so kind gesture, gave me this coin of an “Angel”, a “Good Life Token”. That is how Doug is, no other way to describe him as “the good guy”, a good man living a good Life and like a few of us in and out of this space throughout these winter times, sharing his inner Wealth. I don’t believe in coincidences, my Journal is written over many days and the Song I wanted to share today is called “Angel” by Sara McLachlan from her Album “Surfacing”. No need to say more.

This feels as a week I want to call "nothing". Because we are not doing anything. Sometimes the movement weighs on us. I feel Spirit wanting to slow down a bit, catch up on his sleep, enjoy his during the day spread in the Sun naps, as I would also, and do. It is a week to catch up on "nothingness". Not blank, not empty, only to let go of it all, as they say "empty the mind and body". Await for the next wave to surf on, the next flavor of the road, people met, new dust inhaled as we always do.

We did go on to Terlingua on Sunday afternoon. It is generally deserted as the Tourists go home and prepare themselves for the Monday morning rush waves. We did meet a few riders however, Jeff, Steve and Mike. Could those be their real names? I am working on revamping my memory, nice to remember names for a change, much practice needed. A couple locals playing the guitar and the fiddle. Pleasant, great weather uplifting the spirits as suddenly much Music started. A couple guitars showed up, one more fiddle and an accordion. I had to look up the spelling on that one, you don’t see too many of them.

 

On a Sunday afternoon in Terlingua, Texas

 

This was the result. Everyone moved to the Parking lot, taking in the Sun fueling the oncoming notes so pleasant to the ears and the senses on this lazy Sunday afternoon. Suddenly a couple more days have passed. It is amazing as I am reading my own words and feel and still hear the Music as if it was just a few moments ago. There is no alarm though, there is no deadline on anything that could entail a prompt attention as our departure for Austin is not for another week. We are going to "Lone Star BMW" on Saturday the 10th to celebrate two Ladies, two Friends that have reached separately the Million Mile marker throughout their lives riding their motorcycles, crossing the finish line however together orchestrated on the Million Dollar Highway this past summer. Voni Glaves and Ardys Kellerman. Amazing. Read their stories!

It will also be time to wander into… COSTCO for a refill on my prescriptions so I can live a bit longer, put on a few more miles, a few more photos and carry on through this Life with my Buddy Spirit. It is not that far, about 450 miles, but will take a couple days to get there probably spending the first night in Del Rio. The temperatures are cooler, the days are shorter and we are slower!

Finally today we started the engine, added a bit of oil as it might be time for a change, she never burns any in between those times amazingly with over a quarter million of miles on her, (sounds better than saying 250,000 miles!), and the direction was Fort Davis or so. It is astounding how the body will communicate as only while in Alpine, 60 miles later, we turned around and came back. It was a great ride, it was the ride of the moment even if a certain vague destination was not reached. Tonight, I am nursing a sore throat, it all fell in place, I had not properly read my own health signs. So we watch the Sunsets as these past nights have been amazing. That is an understatement as same for those mesmerizing Sunrises.

Why “now”? I started thinking quickly changing direction. Why not "now" instead. Seems as I go through this every winter times. It is Friday and I am avoiding a visit to the Dr 60 miles away. I could drive of course as it is what I should probably do but also know it will not happen. The day makes me nervous as the offices are closed on the weekend. Positive thinking will work. I am pushing myself “to do” but nothing of any value is coming through, the momentum is broken, I now know why this week is called the "nothing" week!

Today however the drive changed. What is the use to lay horizontal and wait? It turned out to be the day for “Old Faithful” to be taken care of. One cure for when feeling as such ill is to be around Friends, specially when around Friends and working on a motorcycle. Fixed a couple headlights, bled the front brakes, new grips covers as it is amazing how lifted the ride becomes with such a simple addition! Much chatting, laughter, Spirit always loved, suddenly all pains and aches vanish. Always the best prescription. I am so lucky, we are so lucky to have such good Friends around here. Who would have known this would be waiting for us on this vast land we picked for winter times.

 

One might think as I look at those photos, the colors are enhanced. They are not. They are right out of the camera, it has been some truly memorable moments witnessing the changing of such colors, the shapes, the clouds taking off in their multi directions from winds themselves multi channeled.

Fido Magazine has made their last issue free to read for everyone as also, well, we are featured within. It is all Spirit’s fault! Enjoy, it always has great contents. This “nothing” week on our own time frame has been therapy, slow motion times moving along, the body is feeling a bit rough but I am in good company, very good company.

Till next time… enjoy.

Take a look at my Photo Galleries. “Smugmug” stands for quality. The “One-Pan” Recipe store. Trying to share the Passion and keeping fuel in the tank… Thank you.

Be well, Ara and Spirit

“If one’s eyes are always on tomorrows, today’s slip by unperceived. To a West which in it’s concern to refashion heaven and earth is in danger of letting the presentness of Life – the only Life we really have – slip through it’s finger, Zen comes as a reminder that if we do not learn to perceive the mystery and beauty of our present Life, our present hour, we shall not perceive the worth of any Life, any hour”
~ Philip Kapleau ~

The gifts around these “Thanksgiving” times have been of many. Mother Nature has been generous with such incredible guest appearances from the many clouds introduced when the curtain dropped by the end of each day. I feel so much appropriate listening to Jesse Cook’s Guitar throughout such moments.

Late it is. I know it has to be another day. The skies from above in their darkest black canvas are dotted with their blinking stars projecting their deepest hours of the night. Wandering in such vastness within such obscurity I can only step through with the use of my senses. I start thinking if anyone else lives such as me, such as us, an inseparable pair tied so closely and yet so freely each living our lives. Of course there has to be this other Soul, maybe in a far land, maybe just near by at this very moment with his/her dog fumbling with ease through the brushes, stepping on some rocks, feeling them, looking up waiting for a signal which so often takes place striking the skies with a lighted tail.

I am still surfing the crest of this wave which has no shore yet in sight. The horizon has become infinite. The ride with a "hiss" no louder than yesterday and no quieter has been music to my ears, has been the smile of my Soul, tremendously fast with a quality letting me savor every moment past which incessantly nurtures me now and always again "now". This morning the Sun is hidden by the low clouds, almost fog, it is humid as my face feels wet and my clothes are clinging. There is a chill in the air, warmth has not yet come through. I forget the weather here can also go astray and a look at the weather forecast reassures me this is only temporary.

Yesterday’s skies again were a gift from Mother Nature longing to slowly unwrap her offerings. It was also as such when we returned early from the Art Walk in Alpine. Everything stops. Give me a few clouds, a Sun dropping into the horizon, a chair, no chair, and the show unravels with "ahs!" and "ohs!". Cooking stops, thinking does too as even Spirit tranquil and composed often sits by me and watches intimately his own World moving on at his own pace as he always does undisturbed from it all. I never felt such Peace within me, I have to stay calm, I know it is not a mirage of this Life, I don’t want to spoil the moment, I only want to remain within this chamber bright and lit moving me incessantly forward.

And forward we have gone today. Another day. Transported through the beautiful River Road once again to Presidio first for more fuel and some last minute provisions, finally taking on the easy 27 mile dirt road to Sauceda, the center of this incredible far away and isolated Big Bend Ranch State Park. The Sun is already setting behind the hill here at Tapesco 2. I am already in the shadows, it must be late afternoon, and this site, well, it is leaving me speechless. It is a Star, it is one that has descended on Earth and here we are, borrowing it’s welcoming space. The road, 4 miles from the Welcome Center is marginally bad but doable. Not for a passenger car or a street oriented motorcycle.

The space is of a different dimension, once again another step, up. I always thought "The Oasis" was filled with silence, this site here must be the true definition of such silence. Our own little piece of land in the middle of another million acres as primitive as it can get. As alone one can be but not lonely. I think often as I also have been asked " why do I not get lonely?". I am not, as for one Spirit and I keep each other company in such incredible ways. I also do love the company of others but the lifestyle is not so conducive toward a constant as such entourage. My thoughts, my own mind on this path of constant growth, my books, my camera, "Old Faithful" and Mother Nature, all keep me away from any loneliness.

Freedom is the major player amongst it all. The lack of compromise and no needed decisions for most of the time is the luxury, is the essence of it all. Everything is a trade of and of course so is this stage but such freedom has taken over and won’t let go. Who would ever want to live this Life as such anyhow? I even find it selfish on my part to maintain such luxury only having myself to consider toward any steps taken. Could be breakfast for dinner, could be riding south and suddenly going north, could be thinking staying here for a couple days and yet still be planted a week later. Who in their right mind would care to follow such I would even call eccentricities as with another Soul to share they would not exist out of respect and compromise. And yet again, who knows?

Cold night it was, mid thirties I was told it would be, and yet now the sun only being out shortly is already baking my back while drinking my coffee and writing this on my phone. The skies are blue without a cloud in sight which would have made for some nice photos. The coyotes woke me up a couple times, I know a few were very close, they sounded at first like sirens till I totally woke up and realized were I was and who they were. A bird or two passing by singing their morning songs makes me think about "Bird" back at The Oasis. I left him lots of crumbs, I know he will be there when we return. He has been demanding lately getting as close as a few feet with it’s loud voice suddenly trying to get my attention. I like that. I am however wondering what he is going to do when we leave. Probably what he was doing before we arrived! Wish he could come with us, but it just does not work out that way.

And another day. So thankful. Such a radiant space. Quiet day. The Welcome Center was a stop. Seems we are not as far from civilization as I thought. Only the hard road often demanding some crawling is keeping others away from where we are. This name “Tascate 2” amongst others such as “La Mota”, “La Posta” and so many more.  There is a bunkhouse for men and one for women. A full kitchen as to my surprise they are serving Thanksgiving dinner for 120 people. There is no one here right now, only saw a couple cars which catching us by surprise knew of us. Small world. I will be cooking again tomorrow as I did tonight. I think it will be some chicken with dried cranberries and a balsamic vinegar mustard sauce with pasta. Sounds decadent as the peppered steak with rice I made tonight. I feel so lucky I know how to cook with so little. There is always such a pleasure and satisfaction creating a dish and savoring it as here away from it all. I better feed Spirit now. He is waiting.

Thanksgiving has come and gone. Not without a show I must say I might have never seen before. A Sunset I cannot describe as by the minute standing on a peak of this Mountain it was as I suddenly was detached from this Earth and floating in space in the midst of colors and shapes and hues and shadows without exaggeration never felt before. The space had much to do with it all. No one around for miles, I did scream, I let it all out, I send out my "thank you (s)", my "gratitude" and with Lance’s presence so much felt I still managed to be and remain on this path of acceptance. Took some photos, they do not make justice toward those present moments even with those incredible colors right out of the camera. They are just photos! There is so much more. I put the camera away and went in to be part of this scene so powerful and so gracious on this special day.

There is nothing else more uplifting for us as being "out there", way out there! Up and down the unpaved roads lacking any traffic, a bit of wildlife, when skies all blue a sharpness of the Earth, when filled with clouds a show of shadows and colors which cannot compare with any play or Art humanly created. We are now back at "The Oasis" going through those photos, writing down the recipes cooked (two more have been added), just "being" as again last night another show stopper took place. So many gifts coming our way. It is overwhelming at times. 

Till next time…

Take a look at my Photo Galleries. “Smugmug” stands for quality. Thank you.

Be well, always.
Ara and Spirit

The “One-Pan” Recipe store opening…

Does one have anything to do with the other? It does. My “Gratitude” truly made me appreciate these past couple days the Art laid out at the annual “2011 Alpine Art Walk”. Friends seen, conversations, the tremendous effort so many took upon themselves expressing for all to enjoy. This video below has made it’s way here at a time when the door to this Journey was ajar and on, full force, it blew it’s hinges. It has taken me to another peak of my Life and again in it’s balancing act of the Mind and Soul it’s motion made my path of a paved one. I watch it every morning… I really do. Takes 6 minutes…

 

“Gratitude” toward all one must have…

 

Another eerie moment yesterday. Seems to be happening a lot lately the deeper we are sinking into this timeless space. I lost a whole week. It just vanished as awaking days after we arrived back from our little outing in the Texas Hills and suddenly wondering what this near past blur had been. Present in the moment too deeply maybe shutting off any projections what so ever into the next moment? I have been thinking about it since yesterday. Amazing and maybe even a bit worrisome?

We are indeed in a different time zone I believe where any effort of past reality and future to come are slowly becoming only the shadows of our present. Up before sunrise, lately down after watching the Moon come up over Nine Points, all the in betweens are moving on at a pace I had not previously experienced as such. Yet, I am longing for an outburst in foreign lands. Alpine’s Art Walk is this weekend and probably will run up there as we always have to witness other’s Art. Maybe then on to the "Big Bend State Park". "Old Faithful" is ready for some off road adventures, we all are as the weather is just magnificent. It is one reason why we are here. But can I now think so far ahead? A few days it is as if I do, I will loose what is now.

 

Butterfly Bicycles

 

In the midst of the Art Walk time has been entertaining. We are at the half way mark as we will go back today for the Art Car Parade. Cannot miss that event. A bit of food shopping also while in Alpine and we will return to set up for Thanksgiving week in "Big Bend State Park". This year the event will be quiet, my gratitude toward this Life of ours, our path, our Friends, all will be laid out quietly somewhere on a patch of Earth which can accommodate our tent.

The Art Cars, seeing so many, has been more than interesting specially while able to speak with the owners. Their designs are not puzzling as many might find as such, it is their imagination that intrigues me with my highest form of respect toward them to have the ability pronouncing their inner fantasies as such. One has driven from central Kansas and as knowing such fact, I still asked him… "so you drove this car all the way from there?". Silly question. Of course he did. I found myself having a certain common ground in the sense of the attention and scrutiny always being under as I was telling him about the constant barrage of cameras Spirit… endures. As "have you never seen a Dog wearing goggles and a helmet riding a sidecar?". Have you ever seen a car with hundreds of tubes of toothpaste and teeth and more glued on? Smiles… smiles are always all around when the inner child is still so prevalent in our advancing age, specially when as such, "it shows".

 

Alpine 2011 Art Car Parade

 

 

I am having a good time with people around. There is a huge "refresh" button that has been pushed in my Life these past days, since our 5 year milestone made it’s presence as other’s words also coincidentally made their way in my daily thinking. One of them has been the "gratitude" due toward everything, meaning truly "everything" that surrounds us. This video above is one that I now watch every morning when a connection is available. Again, it is nothing obscure or unrealistic or which has been unknown by myself in near past, I am thinking as so many components of Life which has entered our path, more than acknowledging, it is, has to be "the right time" to connect, the proper moment for that spark to be not only visible but felt so strongly as this video for myself enforcing seeing the World, my surrounding, all so differently. 

We cannot look at the negative aspect of facts, people, Friends, relationships. When all is laid out with no ill intent it is all only how we have been designed and a smile, and a "thank you", and an acknowledgment toward it all is going so much further these days. I see this as the key that finally has turned the tumbler.

We left the Art Show a bit early on Saturday. I think we were both ready to come back. Spirit as much as myself. He is now doing very well in crowds suddenly. It all started this summer while stopping in a couple "must visit" stores. All the noise, the people, the cars has made him very nervous and I think I now have ahead of me the task to walk him when within a certain urban environment. I think he has lost the sense of such crowd when us spending so much time in quite a bit of isolation which makes him feel very secure.

Till next time.

Have the Best “Thanksgiving” you have ever had filled with the outmost “Gratitude” you also have ever had…

Take a look. “Smugmug” stands for quality. Thank you.

Be well, always.
Ara and Spirit

Why those Photos today? For one, our “Smugmug” Galleries are getting populated, I think worth a look. In parallel, the “One-Pan Recipe” e-Store is now open and so, these photos might entice you to open up those pages and peruse the offerings. Both entities are “work in progress” as they will always be. It is a start though.  

“Great compassion is the root of altruistic action. It really is a source of wonder. There is no greater source of help and happiness. The capacity to devote yourself to the welfare of others yields otherwise unobtainable power and potential for good. Generate great compassion and you become a Friend of the World and a companion of the warm-hearted.”
~ Dalai Lama ~

Many “Love Songs” have been written, sang, played. “I’ve been Loving You too long” by “Otis Redding” entered my Life when I started “Culinary School” in Switzerland, many years ago. Some Music stays around as this one has and brings on the memories of my departed Son, Friends… it strikes a chord always evoking them.

A certain day became a presence to me;
there it was, confronting me—a sky, air, light:
a being. And before it started to descend
from the height of noon, it leaned over
and struck my shoulder as if with
the flat of a sword, granting me
honor and a task. The day’s blow
rang out, metallic—or it was I, a bell awakened,
and what I heard was my whole self
saying and singing what it knew: I can.

~ Denise Levertov, Variation on a Theme by Rilke ~

If one did not know better they would invert their feelings of beauty surrounding them in this present space into an eerie one. Full light from our Moon reflecting on every single rock and branch and cactus portraying their shadows coupled with a cold which is slowly descending on us for the night. The scene present is truly indescribable. It is a feel as no other. I woke up yesterday and as I opened my eyes I thought I had overslept a full day and again a Sunset was present. It was the Moon setting in the early hours almost as bright as it’s day time counterpart. For years it has been the question mark of a preference as such. Do I prefer a full Moon or a no Moon sky filled with a blanket of stars including the sight of some often traveling ones? Enjoying them all, there is no preference as there is no choice for this time spend here and now. The question as so many others has become obsolete. It is only one example of many.

I am a bit smiling today toward a traveler who stopped by here yesterday. My smile is a bit of an old habit to counter affect a certain incomprehension I might have, and not smile. It brings me to understand my values of the road even more so than ever as our path is of a primitive space. Yes, there is water but a hot shower is about a two gallon bag. There is power through solar and yet, one has to be conservative. There is heat through a propane catalytic heater when the –20 degree bag and a liner is just not enough. There is even drinking water from 3 gallon jugs filled 30 miles away, transferred to one gallon jugs and then on to single Hydro Flask bottles through a Brita or Katadyn filter. Cooking is mostly also now through a solar oven since there is a very strict ban on outdoor fires, not even a gas grill allowed.

So it takes an effort, no doubt, to live as such, whether here, or in Valley of the Gods, or on Muley Point, it is, has become second nature. Effort for what so many consider a basic comfort is a pleasure for me, it makes me feel as I am earning my stay appreciating every step taken. What is needed today generally can wait a few days, what I think is needed. This time around we are having a hard time reaching that point when the need is a real necessity as long as we have food. I think all this caught my Friend off guard. I forget to mention the "compost toilet". A miracle of an invention which truly besides being a 5 gallon bucket double lined with two 13 gallon garbage bags and a seat in a nice wood enclosure is not truly an invention. But very old school. The part that could be might be the dirt and water used to cover it all up, every time, that might be the invention. Horrified? Why? When I think of the millions of miles of sewer running through the world when all could be 12 months down the road growing tomatoes and lettuce… Kind of a smiling concept, isn’t it?

What is offered however is not found where toilets run, where faucets exist, where switches turn on and off light bulbs, where the shower has a temperature knob and where with one flip cold air will blow from a giant fanned monster sitting on a roof. As raw as the Lifestyle is, so is the offerings from Mother Nature. We are gifted here with Sunsets and Sunrises, with days of cool breeze and skies blanketed with cotton balls such as today. We are gifted even more not having a calendar or a clock as all has become so insignificant when the true nature of a real Life suddenly appears having finally sorted out the priorities filed in this drawer which does not seem to cooperate from a frozen lock.

My Friend truly enjoyed just laying back and for a bit of time taking it all in. He said he did. Then I don’t really know what happened. Maybe the better commodities of living called him away as he was here less than 24 hours. “Make yourself at Home” if someone stops by here I always say as ourselves have stopped and heard as such specially this last summer at Friends Homes who received us laying out the red carpet with the same warm expression. Magic is here, it is outdoor, rough at times, yes, yet those moments also go away as rapidly as anything else when acceptance is present, when no choice is within. It is not for everyone, if it was, there would be traffic lights on every dirt road intersections, maybe they would even be paved. Muley Point would have a Motel built on it’s peak and Valley of the Gods would probably be an 18 hole Golf Course. A few.

There is no criticisms, there is no judgment. None, as here is just another flavor as there and a bit even further on the path we have found. Tranquil hikes with Spirit lately. Deep breaths of this air not yet tainted allowing for the senses to reach out and step up toward a reality that has existed from it’s beginning. I am becoming very attached to this space. It is I know because of the contrasts experienced not long ago. It is almost thinking if this land so quiet and serene “can it be real?”. It is and is giving back so much every instant while here.

My words. They never end it seems like. How can I be thinking so much. “A Sky, Air, Light…”. Try it.

Till next time.

Take a look. “Smugmug” stands for quality. Thank you.

Be well, always.
Ara and Spirit

“A Smile is the same as Sunshine; it banishes winter from Human countenance”
~ Victor Hugo ~ [Les Miserables]

A beautiful piece from “Kendra Springer” called “Where Sky meet Sea” from her “Hope” Album.
She can be found on Jamendo where all the Music is “Copyright Free”.

We are just starting out, just as this Sunrise is, but our path is going to take much longer, not just a day, a few more. That is how I feel tonight while packing the too familiar bags, then unpacking and repacking. Games of the mind. This wonderful ECamper has been sitting here going nowhere, the trailer on which "Old Faithful" would be parked on while rolling down the road is filled with garbage bags and the remains of the past tent torn apart waiting to be taken to the dump, the forecast is for, well, not cold but cool… I just now threw everything on Sherpa’s back and with some remorse, but I better get use to it, that is how we will be leaving.

The ECamper is a wonderful aspect, there is no "anxiety" as to where we will sleep when the days shorter these present times seems to come so much faster near their end. The traveling part is of course not the same, yet what I am finding out is I am enjoying my photography in the sense of an easiness when stopping. Grab the camera, step out, take the photos and step back in. Even if it is for "that one", the one photo I sometimes bypass, without having to remove gloves, glasses, helmet, at least one ear plug, put back the glasses on, use the camera, put it away, glasses back off, ear plug in, liner and helmet back on, glasses back on, and finally gloves again. Yes? for those who ride with a full face helmet as I do. Not a big deal when one has done it over a few thousands of times, it becomes a habit, the alternative "is" nice though. Again, I cannot ever have regrets whichever way we are moving, everything lays in the acceptance of compromises. There is no one perfect way to accomplish anything.

We are up early. I am anyhow. Spirit has it made. All he needs to do is get up, eat, run around, do his thing (s!) and jump on the seat. How nice that must be! It is colder than thought or am I getting softer than thought? I am getting softer. No doubt about it. The resistance, the acceptance toward "non comfort" has diminished this past year. The thrill to freeze up is just not the same as I don’t think "thrill" is now even the word. Today, we can leave anytime, the shelter of a metal cage makes up for the lack of the shorter days as I believe the clock is even changing this weekend which does not really phase me, just the knowledge that it is.

No plans, just going on eastward. I remember a very cool Museum in Del Rio, a "hole in the wall" Mexican food stand in Uvalde, Amistad Lake where camping is available. All I know is we are going as we will also encounter some good food stores and bring back some provisions with us for some new recipes. And mentioning "recipes", my Dear Friend and Webmaster "Justin" not only went on vacation and swamped with work when he returned, but also has been very ill and we have delayed the opening of the "One-Pan Recipe" store. This weekend maybe as I have about to start 16 recipes laid out. It will always be another project in progress and I have to say a bit excited to finally setting it all up.

We are now camped on the shores of Lake Amistad near Del Rio. How nice is that! 250 miles away, a bit uneventful road to get here, strong wind on the nose made me appreciate Sherpa. So yes, it is obvious, I have a bit of a hard time with the concept but it keeps getting better and better. Will be fine when “Old Faithful” follows us from point A to point B! The heater was on part of the way, new downloaded Music, (Otis Redding, Sarah Mc Laughlin, Van Morrison, James Taylor… Old School), it was comfy. I met two motorcyclists in Alpine, I wished we rode! Half way here I realized I forgot my coffee grinder. Big commotion! Pow Wow time. Buy a new grinder? No. Buy some already ground coffee? No way. Drove an extra 15 miles or so to the first food store which happened to be a Wal-Mart, yes… and used their grinder to grind my own. I even had the wonderful greeter stick a yellow tab on my Ziploc bag so no one would think I was stealing ground coffee since I was not buying anything else. Sherpa was a good shelter for Spirit while I ran in and out. Of course he has a service tag and I would normally take him inside with me, this was easier.

Welcome Center, map, Visitor Guide, we are the perfect tourists and scoping the campgrounds we took possession of #5, “Governor’s Landing”. The best one, the one on the point. $4 a night, the other campgrounds are $2. That is with my "old man’s discount", my Lifetime $10 National Park Pass. How nice is that? You have to live this long to get one. The weather is now perfect as I sit outside after not cooking tonight, it is too late. Winter jacket is on, nice breeze, the moon is 3/4 full, the ECamper went up so fast that it leaves me a bit stunned always wanting to put in a bit more effort. And Oh! I have a real pillow. It is going to be a good night sleep for the both of us.

This is the beginning of a New Year for us. This is the perfect prescription for this present mind set. It has taken me a while to get here, the lessons have been tedious and I know will continue to be so, but a brilliant ray of Sunshine has made it’s way brightening up this path as I am now so responsible making sure the switch stays on. I am resigned to let let go of my denial and face a reality that has been so enlightening these past years. We are in for a ride of a Lifetime I am thinking! We shall move forward in slices of 5 years…

Morning comes around and this area suddenly feels as a giant light bulb has come on full force blinding me and skipping my thoughts already into future times. Where have we been when such gems are for the taking only 250 miles or so from "The Oasis". It was a full day as also planning to visit the Museum tomorrow. We left Governor’s Landing in search for the little hole in the wall Mexican food I thought would be in Uvalde. It was not. I did not even remember Uvalde being that large. Must be the next one, 8 more miles, Knippa, can’t turn around now. It was not either. Has to be Sabinal, another 11 miles. It was. "Nora’s". She has expanded just a bit from four years ago, the porch with the car seats is gone, the kitchen has taken over that space, and around lunch time people are in line, they were leaving with bags and bags of food, obviously called ahead.

The picture does not give it any justice. The perfect grilled beef tacos, "all the way" one must order. Guacamole, Pico de Gallo, grilled onions and peppers and…. homemade tortillas. The Tamales are even better. Just the right amount of a thin layer of "masa", unlike the rip off joints charging $3 a piece for 2 grams of filling, fluffy, moist, tasty, just right. I am stuck now with 3 more, no cooking tonight again, none tomorrow either.

Thinking about turning around, back to Governor’s Landing, this mission was accomplished. As the crowds dissipated and we started chatting, she insisted, that would be Nora, we must go to this State Park through another quaint town call "Utopia". “Lost Maples”. Sounded promising. We met Robert and Cyndi there in town and as the same way so many flag us down when riding, it was my turn to flag others down. And, they did not even have a dog, but it is not every day we see a sidecar. A beautiful set up done exactly like "Old Faithful", except for the bike itself being a different twin. I sure hope I have the names right.

On to "Lost Maples". Last curve and a sign is present I cannot miss. A Motorcycle Museum. “Lone Star”. Surprise. Brakes are on, gas pedal back on, I thought I better go on first and check the camping situation.  They are full, to my surprise. Who would have thought. I turn around to walk out, around again as she calls me, a cancellation has just come in. Yes, I will take it. No senior discount here, but showers are present. A bit overpriced for $20 a night… Karma. It will be fine. We have more Tamales!!! Without looking at the assigned site, we are then on our way back to the Museum. Luck again, they don’t close till 5. But I know him, he knows us, we had met 3 years ago in Big Bend while he was out on an annual run for English bikes. He is now trying to retire and only open Friday through Sunday. A mere $5 to droll (and wipe if you do!) on the beauties laid out in the large showroom complete with the “Ace Café” serving as I understand the best burgers around. Tamales and Tacos it was though, full, no go on that scenario.

 
I cannot even begin to describe those fully restored motorcycles, I cannot begin to relate all the chatting which ensued. I think we did solve the World’s problems. The solution being, everyone needs to own a motorcycle and ride, and continue riding. What fun this has been. This is the perfect taken path when wandering the roads with no destination.

We wake up to rain. I thought I had heard the gentle sound of water drops throughout the night, but I sleep so soundly, it could have been a sounding mirage. Coffee, Mr. spirit does his thing and is served breakfast, ECamper is down quickly giving me this feeling I am forgetting a step, I double check and we are on the way. The rain is now stronger. Will we find Sunshine today? I had planned on some hiking this morning, I should have let go of the Museum visit for today! Yet, I do not mind this weather with a thermostat set on perfect. What becomes interesting now is the fact that we are dry and listening to my morning Music. I know, everyone has a car. This is new to us, my consternation is at it’s peak, this is a crucial moment, Henry Ford would have been proud of me, I am sold on this concept. Mixing it up will be a good solution. No two ways about it, we are suddenly braver than the elements. No wet tent. No rain gear, we are headed toward sunshine.

Back to Governor’s Landing, we avoided Garner State Park, rain and more rain, deep gray clouds, the gems where not as brilliant as the day earlier when we should have taken advantage of their trails. Next time. We met up with “The Oasis” the next day, she welcomed us with her always present gift of a Sunset like no others. Suddenly it feels even better being here, I sure must like silence as it is. Not a bad “Base Camp”!

Till next time.

"I have been juggling my Book, my “one-pan recipes”, “Spirit” and myself and also Smugmug is starting to look good if I may say so myself with now 6 Galleries. There will be more, adding daily as I go  through these past years photos…”

Take a look. “Smugmug” stands for quality. Thank you.

Be well, always.

Ara and Spirit

“Live on, survive, for the earth gives forth wonders. It may swallow your heart, but the wonders keep on coming. You stand before them bareheaded, shriven. What is expected of you is attention.”
~ Salman Rushdie ~  [The Ground Beneath Her Feet]

A long (15 minutes) piece of Music, background… morning… relaxing.
Artist: Snatam Kaur from her CD: Anand

This morning the cold has made it’s way into the sleeping bag, it is time for a liner and for also Spirit wearing his coat, his winter one. I woke up early unlike these past days when unusually sleeping late in what I think has been the comfort of a certain unconsciousness maybe. I woke up smelling the dampness of a few past nights in Alabama, the ones that welcomed us years back, 5 years to the day to be exact. It is all I recollect as far as the dates goes, as the start of my Journal which only went back a few days earlier is lost somewhere in space. It is amazing how memory works, how I can forget the name of someone met yesterday, yet in details with all my senses feel such times past. It was late, darkness had descended, the road was not a stranger to me, but as usual when looking for a space to camp and none presenting themselves a bit of tension starts growing.

I saw a washed out "camping" sign brightened by my headlights piercing through the fog, or was it the dew descending to rest on solid ground for the night? One of those blue signs with no lettering and the outlines of a drawn tent faded away. It had to be, my hopes soared as the narrow road made a left and a right and yet a few miles later I still could not find a promised shelter. Suddenly a field appeared, deserted, a couple tired yellow casting overhead lights gave the space found an eerie stage. Knocked over electrical outlets, tall grass in patches, an unwelcome remains of a gate house and far away, tucked into a corner, a couple campers maybe I thought left behind from once a thriving RV Park.

No matter, ground for my tent, our tent. Barely set up and a pair of headlights cutting through the fog turned into our direction with a roar and grumbling a bit worrisome. I felt a knot within me, the truck pulled up next to us, the driver leaned over to crank the window down. It was a young smiling face as myself felt a relief so instant I could already taste the good night sleep ahead. A second truck made it’s way. Two campers, two trucks, it all made sense. A couple kids, kids I call them when in their twenties, training to be tower climbers, spending their Monday’s through Friday’s away from Home. Camp anywhere they said, the gate keeper might be in the morning, and maybe not. No one else is here. Come on over, we are going to fix some dinner, if you are hungry you are more than welcome!

Couple kids! Well mannered. I could feel their parents through them, their respect toward their elders, their own appreciation for sharing a meal. Couple kids cooking. I remember the meal. Grilled chicken, vegetables, potatoes and the best homemade from their Mothers canned green beans and jam and bread for dessert. They had been taught well. They then had to climb a near by telephone pole to show me their prowess. They did not let me leave empty handed as I carried a few jars back with me, it was food for the coming days on this road which was just beginning, on this road that lead us here today, 5 years later. A memorable night as I wonder what they are now doing? I wish I would have stayed in touch with them, but as many that have joined us for only instants it seems like, they and that is always my pain, are now just a good memory.

Has the times passed mean anything? Retrospection time? Is this what I wanted to set off doing? Has it been good fortune? Has Karma taken good care of us? I know Lance has. All has. I have a bit of a smile when I think of him now. It is not a true smile though, it is a crescent of my lips from these years past unbottled from all the emotions a Human being can go through when driven by a will not wanting to succumb. 1830 days and nights more or less plowing the path. Is this a page that ends half way? Is there a new start again only because of a number? or is it the next step appearing from the shadows demanding my attention? I have to think of it as a special day I feel. There has to be some sense to it all, there has to be. There should be an easiness that has descended building up to this present stage, yet, I don’t know what to call it. The last words of every chapter lived are always the same regardless. Always. I can only close my eyes to feel his eyes on me, I can only feel his hugs through a distant memory, I can only hear his voice cutting through the prevailing silence as silence always remains as such, that is just the bottom of the bottom line… Lance is just not here. Regardless. Yet, I am. I must.

Tomorrow is "The Day of the Dead" Celebration. There is always a gathering in Terlingua’s Cemetery. Friends, acquaintances, food, music, a bonfire maybe, candles are lit. I remember the first time being a bit taken back. Celebration of the "Dead"? How could that be? Is it what they would have wanted? I realize today, it is so, even if emotions are still mixed for this Joyous Day. The need to feel again the good past times, the laughter we have had, the bright eye visions we have exchanged, the sounds of conversations, the jokes, the food we have shared, ate together, cooked together and so much more. It is that Day and it is a good thing there is such a Day to remind us of the good times we have had because what would be the sense of having a permanent veil on such past moments never remembering them?

The day after has now arrived. Last evening’s weather with high winds and dust storms was as to remind us of the event, to pay attention. As I did. Good Friends I saw, chatted, and yet it’s deep meaning occupied my mind throughout the present hours. I end up putting the camera away, sometimes that “object” gets in the way between the true vision laid ahead and the senses trying to make their way toward the reality wanting to experience. It cuts off the links joined to form the much needed circle. We are all fortunate that my Friend Voni (I know for so many “our” Friend) took some remarkable photos last night and with her permission, which she gave without any hesitation, I am publishing here a few for all to enjoy. This is all such a true example proving, as she uses a pocket camera, it is the Photographer and not the camera!

I had a good time. I truly had a good time and as this morning came around my own questions from yesterday had found their answers. Yes, the moment for a change has arrived, it truly has, I feel it and slowly this new path will also as the one preceding take shape and guide me toward a better Life. It will all come through and true.

 

Love my Buddy!!! A one minute clip…

 

Till next time.

"I have been juggling my Book, my “one-pan recipes”, “Spirit” and myself and also Smugmug is starting to look good if I may say so myself with now 6 Galleries. There will be more, adding daily as I go  through these past years photos…”

Take a look. “Smugmug” stands for quality. Thank you.

Be well, always.

Ara and Spirit

"There is a spectacle more grand than the sea, more mysterious, and more infinite; it is heaven: there is a spectacle more grand than heaven; it is the inmost recesses of the Soul."                                     ~ Victor Hugo ~      

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters, compared to what lies within us.”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

The flats of Montana, Wyoming, the winds are blowing leaving all on a slant. I feel and see the Ancient Villages, the Children playing, the Women gathered around the fire cooking, the Men are in a circle talking, the horses are pounding the ground as for myself I go through this back door filled with memories as if I was present but was not. I stop feeling the wheels turning… I am transported when I hear this while riding.
”Wisdom” ~ Artists “Nawang Kerchog and R. Carlos Nakai”

"Mother Nature" today suddenly stood up with a big wave and woke me up. We had gone to Terlingua for water, beans and some groceries. The water (the free one) was closed, "Many Stones" were I wanted to buy those great "Anasazi" beans was closed, the chickens are not laying any eggs… Defeat, kind of, I thought. We shall go back. That is when the recollection made it’s mark. On the road, sighting what we had looked at a hundred times and more, but sometimes not seen. My share, my daily allotment of Nature had not been fulfilled, too wrapped up writing recipes, too much time in front of this screen. Too much. Falling into that depth of inactivity. In such a short time "chaos" entered through that door revolving always both ways, it has now taken it’s exit as time is truly all we have yet not to be abused as I feel I did. Was there a deadline I thought? or was it from the past path that feeling of accomplishment from those busy times “now” re-emerging?

 

The second half of our River Rd ride…

 

The sky was on fire tonight as I sat with Spirit taking it all in. The arms of the glow reached me in depth to ground me. A message so distinct written in the spectrum of magentas ever so fully created. Look around, look around some more.  The mountains and their tentacles of rocks cutting through the horizon, the silence I felt I had not heard for days on through a mind too busy, the first star in it’s evening birth bright as ever shining so new showing the path west. Just "being" I was, suddenly undisturbed by none. What a relief one can possess when being reached so strongly by the existing powers of Life, only if we allow it. Only if…

This morning we are finally experiencing the first cold front. Cold now meaning "comfortable", invigorating, making me feel alive again, energy flowing so fast and so present I don’t quite know what to do. This or that or what? Where do I start now able with such mental and physical freedom to roam on the outside without being beat by a past heat. Even Spirit amazed me this morning running in circles faster than ever in clouds of dust for every turn, yes, faster than ever as I think too often about the years that have passed for him yet never taking a toll as they do on me. Over seven now.

"Bird" himself is singing like never before. I am getting attached to that little creature! he is sitting on the edge of "Old Faithful’s" windshield right now and we are talking. The wind suddenly lifts him (her?) and he is pushed backwards, he corrects his path and gets in the "Green Giant". That is where he lives now during the day as I have to lock it at night. I leave him some bread crumbs often and in return he sings me those songs so pleasant to the ears. What an Island this is amongst the many we have landed on! It is ours to be, yet as the others, it is the one that is always raising such inner feelings of wanting to go when we are here bringing on such confusion at times only because my inner emotions always want to experience what is around that bend, the next one and the next one when the present one has been explored and felt and seen and taken all in as it is here. Have we really? Sometimes none of this makes any sense. Maybe it is not suppose to make any sense. Does it really matter?

The bread crumbs are already gone! Amazing. Perhaps it is the little things that amaze me, the aspects many do not pay attention to. Maybe he is on his way to a nest, "The Bird’s Oasis”. We all need one of those, I can only wish for everyone to have such a space. Their own to come back at times and find themselves again or maybe for the first time away from the traffic of the mind amongst an urban environment which is too much for. What a glorious weather today. Long sleeve T-shirt over a short sleeved one, so much forward momentum as at the same time I did not bring myself to do anything too constructive besides taking "Old Faithful" apart as two headlights out of seven have stopped working. Did not find the culprit. Put it all back together, another day. It is just one of those which makes me ask myself if I am delirious for wanting to leave. Probably am.

“If other people do not understand our behavior—so what? Their request that we must only do what they understand is an attempt to dictate to us. If this is being “asocial” or “irrational” in their eyes, so be it. Mostly they resent our freedom and our courage to be ourselves. We owe nobody an explanation or an accounting, as long as our acts do not hurt or infringe on them.” ~ Erich Fromm ~

What a day. I think I have already said that! How admirable all can be when one finds themselves again. Weather? Yes… Friends? Yes… writing to stay away from negativism send in words.  I can only try to save us, Spirit and I. Never was anything else. My load is immense. I am not complaining, it is my reality I try to see clearly, sometimes and sometimes not. How can I see through murky waters of others as if and when I try, their own lights might not be on dimming my own. I can relate, I can feel their feel and yet I have no words of wisdom, only what I myself read or hear or figure out the hard way the reality needing to be present to go on and on.

Tonight again the Sunset was spectacular. There however is a sense of loneliness that descends at times. It is just Spirit and I. No voices here besides my own blabbing away to him, to a bird, it makes me wonder if sanity is till present or has it left me leaving me stunned as beauty that I see surrounding me is of them and Mother Nature toward who my "Thanks" never cease, as what would it all be without her? A blank stage for sure curtailing senses enriched daily and nightly as my sight has so much hunger toward it all. Sanity? what is that?

Till next time.

"I have been juggling my Book, my “one-pan recipes”, “Spirit” and myself and also Smugmug is starting to look good if I may say so myself with now 6 Galleries. There will be more, adding daily as I go through these past years photos…”

Take a look. “Smugmug” stands for quality. Thank you.

Be well, always.

Ara & Spirit

“My  Personal Daily Therapy, published Weekly or so…”

“ I guess I am the good horse being lead to the water. And drinking it”

Jesse Cook is one of my favorite acoustic guitar player. This piece called “Tuesday’s Child” always reminds of me Lance and his energy, his contagious energy which still is with me throughout all days.

It was time for a long ride yesterday. The hack is a handful on curvy roads such as the one along the Rio Grande hugging Mexico and dips and twists and blind curves on the crest tops are to keep my body alive for winter times. My mind also. Yet it was not quite winter, far from it, it does not even feel like fall as again 100 was the magic number when we arrived in Presidio. I read somewhere being a scientific and proven fact the axis of the Earth is shifting 37 miles per year. I know something is off, the past years have demonstrated a daily change on this stage we are on. “Things” are just not the same. No one is paying attention. I can handle the heat better than Spirit can. He has become softer as time has moved on forward. His body is used to cooler weather but he made it through, riding with his tongue a bit hanging. I always feel he needs to toughen up a bit and drink a lot of water which he has always in front of him from his spill proof bowl. But, that’s Mr. Spirit.

Riding River Rd, Texas, Part I of II.

Yet my mind was occupied all day, wrongly so most likely I today realize it as a futility, because of some e mail exchanges between a reader and myself. I still do not have a handle on my own inner battles. I was not able to emerge from the thoughts running through my mind, thoughts of frustrations toward someone so unhappy about their situation when they lay it out for me to read, and yet playing admirably the part of “the ostrich burying their head in the sand” with a stubbornness and a closed minded path that left me feeling terribly bad for that person as no word of even hope made to her any sense. Or maybe it made sense, yet the willingness to live the moment and find in others words of wisdom was not of an option. I should have not even taken such path, the one of “sharing”.

We all have had teachers in our Life. It starts at a very young age with our parents, it is then on in school, college, continues on while we embrace “work” throughout the years. Our Friends are teachers, our Dogs are teachers, for some that do understand that relationship. Maybe cats are also. I don’t know, I never had one. Sometimes such teachers are as it was laid out on me [quote] “It’s my opinion that new agers are the worst of the exploiting offenders”. [quote] Are they all? We do live in a World of exploitation, there is no doubt, and yet, personally anyhow, how will I ever move on forward if new “information” and “knowledge” does not filter into my Life? I would have remained stagnant, I would have been today who I was 5 years ago only thinking “it will only change when I get out of my own ‘Dirtville’ ”. [quote] “These people prey on the lost, sucking everything they can from those only too ready to follow anyone who can toss them the little crumb of hope.” [quote]

I agree, I agree, yet not totally. Not everyone has such a destination, such a goal so wrongly placed. And what is wrong for one to transcribe in a Book the ancient words of wisdom when such past humans themselves did not have such a book or if they are not available today to the public in the means as “instantly” we are so demanding toward. I use “quotes” myself, my thoughts are often in parallel with words that I read, I hear. "Am I also a “new ager exploiting others?”.  And who am I myself truly but “nobody” and then on why my own mental disturbance toward such a Soul having yet to find even the first step or a shadow of it.

Probably because so many have helped my own landings through knowledge and wisdom, so many books have when sifted through setting aside the ones or chapters maybe not quite “a propos” of the path taken, the path needed, and as the balance continuously breaks down only so we can go on to the next peak and maintain it again so precious, to loose it again, those Journeys within the Journey themselves do not come easy without adding a sense and teaching of the Life we live within. Will turn the page, that chapter has now an “End” printed in large fonts. Pay it forward sometimes just does not work.

I think of then going back to the “Big Bend State Park” for a few days, the less visited one. River Rd is in the midst of it. One should go on however first to Presidio before taking on the 27 mile dirt road to first fuel up and then come back. It is a friendly Park as to me “friendly” is anyone that welcomes dogs and not frown on them with a constant adorned mask as the National Big Bend Park does fairly quick at all time to make one feel as they have the plague. Sorry, but they do. I know most of us are paying the price for the irresponsible ones, but why assume we are all so? The location of the State Park is of an odd one for me as it is only about 10~15 miles from here, yet it takes a 350 miles round trip, it is pretty amazing country for the fact that we cannot hike from here to there as also the cliffs of Terlingua Creek are in the way, this is not a forgiving Desert.

It seems as everything I am doing lately is taking twice as long as thought. It is as running to the store and taking all day to do so. The heat has not gone away and is taking a toll. I drove a couple times out of convenience and again did not care for it. Such a huge machine as I feel I cannot see a thing and have no clue where the wheels are. For some reason I am all over the road, maybe that is how I ride, it actually I know is. I am not seeing and feeling much fun trying to keep these four tires in a straight line. The convenience is nice, we had the air on as I also know when close to freezing temperatures we will love it. I know Spirit does! A lot. He is on the front seat his head up and so serious as he has to watch the road even when I look at him from the corner of my eye as his own eyes are going to sleep. It is pretty funny. And yes, he leans just as if he was in the sidecar!

Paradise this is, yet even after our long day ride I am suddenly feeling trapped here. Most of the recipes, the ones I am going to start with anyhow, are up in this store not public yet. Justin is on vacation, the poor man who only works 100 hours a week. Problems have arisen which I know will be resolved as then I feel as us getting away. I wish I could settle better a bit. This the best time to be a bit North of here. Utah… I can feel the coolness of the air up there. Why did we drop this far South so early? My projects I know, to help us with the Journey. They could have waited another month or so. Something to remember for next year. I think the adventure ceases a bit now while here. It feels too much like home. Maybe we will leave anyhow. Maybe. In a few days.

Till next time.

"I have been juggling my Book, my “one-pan recipes”, “Spirit” and myself and also Smugmug is starting to look good if I may say so myself with now 6 Galleries. There will be more, adding daily as I go through these past years photos…”

Take a look. “Smugmug” stands for quality. Thank you.

Be well, always.

Ara & Spirit

“My  Personal Daily Therapy, published Weekly or so…”

"Be a light in the darkness and be a Heart to the heartless. When the World has lost its meaning be the one who still goes on believing." ~ Parish and Toppano ~

This piece of Music is called “Dreams” for good reasons. Fabulous Piano and acoustic guitar by “Armik” from the Album “Piano Nights”

It is finally a cooler wave descending or more precisely blowing on us, letting us know to be ready for this one more change of season awaiting. It is energy again, it is even a bit of shivering having not yet learned to add a second layer over this short sleeve t-shirt in a mental disbelief of a present so welcomed reality. Today was a good day. Yesterday was a good day. It is always a choice. A trying one sometimes, but the choice of the choice itself must always be a winner, this uphill commodity only us can create. We have though become softer in hot weather not doing so well as "cold" is more the preference we move through all year round as well as we can. Yesterday was a ride exploring more back roads, bouncing around a bit on the dirt, today was a ride to Alpine and actually buy some food and see some Friends and a street called “Murphy” which is slowly getting to be a colorful one.

 

Many dirt roads to explore!

 

I always liked Alpine. We generally park in the shade by the side of the Hardware store where everyone knows us. Correction. Everyone knows Spirit. As in Terlingua, Alpine always ends up being an all day affair. The chatting is always present, the path of the moments only slowly coasts, no one seems to have “time” rushing through their mind, everyone gives everyone the most of what they have, the conversations are endless and so are the smiles and the kind Hearts projecting everyone’s inner self. It is a little town I feel comfortable, at ease also leaving Spirit in his sidecar, an important aspect when we are amidst an Urban environment. Some stores have closed, new ones have opened, an eating establishment here, another one there as I noticed quickly “Murphy Street” was taking on some new colors and a big grin. I like to challenge myself sometimes photographing one street, trying to bring out what catches my Soul. Always a bit different from Mother Nature’s space, the colors and the angles can be fun. It was.

We are back here today and I am now thinking how grateful I am toward this piece of land I call my "Oasis". As much as the roads calls, and trust me they have as the imagination wonders towards the new ones I discover during these times on paper maps only, as much as my memories of past spaces linger, “here” is where the logistics of it all yearly comes together. This time around more than ever, maybe because of a heavy near past dosage of Urban environment through California mainly. I feel more at Peace than ever. I think about the logistics, that word which did not exist a while back, which was not suppose to surface and yet has shown it’s profile. It is now always my desire and mental “must” to keep it all well balanced. Has been.

I am spending much time right now going through my past photos adding them slowly to my new existing six Galleries on Smugmug. It is turning out to be such a deep mental Journey remembering for each the precise moment the shutter went off. The past feelings overcoming me choosing the ones I call "Wow"! The ones luck had me be at the right place at the right time. There are so many folders I now realize. I know all those places and I am amazing myself that we have actually gone there and there and further on. It is giving me the desire to go again, right now, but first, now, I have to take care of projects, create Plan B as otherwise one more emergency and we will be out of the loop. This cannot happen and I know it will not.

The most exciting task however has been re-writing my recipes. Cooking, besides using a smoker (!!!), and soon here a Solar Oven, has not too many secrets left. More than forty years in front of stoves, mixers, cutting boards, knives of all shapes and sizes, cuts and band aids, emergency rooms, menus boggling the mind when cooking the last twenty years without a set budget for the wealthy, those up to 12 course dinners. Nostalgia, passion, love and so much more with an easiness as breathing and walking. I always dreamed of a small informal and friendly and filled with passion Culinary School. I would not even want to call it School, but a group with others sharing the same interest wanting to lay out their maybe hidden desires.

After posting a few photos and some vague recipes these past 5 years I realized this is the closest I am ever going to get near truly sharing this Passion of mine. I am fortunate to have the help of a great Man and Webmaster "Justin", as to me, setting up a recipe section incorporated in the Journal is so totally beyond my abilities and comprehension. So slowly, this "one-pan cooking" section has been set up, with all the glitches the web can provide and with all the corrections and solutions Justin magically is pulling out of his hat, and as I sat down the other day to start on number one, it was as I froze not knowing how to write. This is knowledge I thought, this is not my inner rambling of my Journal, this is for others who are going to learn something, go shopping, cook and share while on the road or at home or in their RV, wherever they are.

So I started writing it all, the first one anyhow, as I am writing a Book. Then read it a few times, then found it dry. I came to an impasse for a while not knowing what to do. And I realized we are amongst Friends here. I am in my kitchen, your kitchen, our campground, you are sitting across me or standing next to me and I am simply explaining the "Why and How" in plain and simple English (mine…). The gate opened up as I started writing as I would be in "that moment" while cooking with you across from me. I then realized how much fun this is, how relieving it is to as my Journal, uncorking everything inside me that has for these chapters have anything to do with cooking. An added therapy as I am calling it now, and what a more beautiful way to share such knowledge of a Passion acquired from past experiences.

I sit outside now, same chair that has supported my rambling for these past 5 years. Replaced a couple pieces here and there, a bit of glue also. Nothing can last that long in this environment. We have. We are entering our Sixth year of wandering, of looking up the skies late at night, blinded by the full Moon when present, awaiting for the Shooting Star when absent, that "Good Night" presence when Lance passes by. I think of all the places we have been Spirit and I, all the photos I have taken, all the words compiled in these almost 700 chapters, all the food prepared and cooked, all the tires and the oils and the fuel! I think more where we "really" are. We climbed a few steps, we fell back some, I sometimes just don’t know what peaks we can more attain as yet none have truly been conquered as I see the shadows of the unthinkable ones swaying still ahead of us.

Till next time.

"I have been juggling my Book, my “one-pan recipes”, “Spirit” and myself and also Smugmug is starting to look good if I may say so myself with now 6 Galleries. There will be more, adding daily as I go through these past years photos…”

Take a look. “Smugmug” stands for quality. Thank you”

Be well, always.

Ara & Spirit

“My  Personal Daily Therapy, published Weekly or so…”

“I surveyed my past and saw only blind striving; I played out my future and saw an abyss and I jumped. This is were I landed.” ~ Philip Connors ~ [Fire Season]

One more of my morning background music.

 

Before Sunrise at Santa Helena Canyon

 

Hot is is, the solar fan is only blowing hotter air, my two gallon sun shower has been up for a while now, hanging, and all at the same time on the hour I burn my freshly shaved head from a water too hot and freezes it as the wind blowing has then that effect. I am starting to think if my head is swelling up and then shrinking and what could be the result? I am laughing inside, silliness, as I know it is the heat throwing in a curve of rhetorical questions not quite making much sense. This is how it goes while in the Desert heat. Everything else is taking shape here. I even split some wood with my sharpened hatchet without hurting myself. For what reasons I yet have to figure out. Maybe soon the ban on fires will be lifted and I can start practicing smoking some chicken or a pork loin maybe. Resume making my bread in the Dutch Oven. Grilling.

"Old Faithful" is parked and tucked into "Green Giant" today, the 40 foot long bowling alley lane where I always think something, someone, is hiding in it. A bird was the other day. I call him "bird". He is the only one around and comes to see us every day. I have been as close to him as ten feet maybe, whistling and talking, I don’t know if he can become a Friend. I keep hoping. I think it is again the heat. Those thoughts. Nothing wrong with "Old Faithful". No worries I have. And yes, we are taking "Sherpa". I feel strange about it all, a bit like a traitor and yet I am thinking "Old Faithful" deserves a break, she can rest in the shade. I kind of like "Sherpa" with the ECamper also though. She has not gone anywhere around here yet per say. It is easy. A couple big and tough Tupperware boxes and everything goes in it. We even have a cooler which I only use as a food box. I will not and cannot deal with ice. No helmet, no gloves, no boots either, we will just sit in it and go. What a concept!

We are now set up, but not where I wanted to go. The road to Mariscal Mine was alright for a while only because Sherpa is all wheel drive when needed and high clearance, but when the sight of half a road appeared, that was that. I am sure someone with more experience could have and would have gone through. To make the matters worse, a third of the remaining road was slanted by the drop. I think, feel like it anyhow, that I have driven all day as we end up on the other side of the Park, at "Terlingua Trabaja". This is after going back to "Panther Junction" to change our campsite designation. Primitive campsites here are assigned very precisely ahead of time and they are good for 14 days, 28 days throughout a calendar year. Without this ancient tarp that I have kept from over ten years ago, called the "Stingray 14" by Mountain Hardware, of course discontinued, we would have not been able to stay. It is HOT, yet bearable in the shade with a wet bandana, and a good book and some food. The Solar system from GoalZero is working well, not much need for it actually this time around, but as I recharge my lantern and phone to write on, it is a handy concept.

I am drained totally from this week’s emotions. I am or more feel empty, I needed a change of scenery even if it is a bit warmer here. Just a couple nights, they are predicting 100 in a few days. I take cover now next to Spirit in the shade of the car. Of course it is cooler. He is smarter. Once in a while a breeze comes through. Once in a while. I am thinking Colorado! The moment escapes me from this harsh Desert. With no shade and no water survival is not very certain. Tomorrow we will go to Santa Helena Canyon for the Sunrise, we have never been there for it. Maybe the day will be cooler.

I will have the recipes up soon in a new section… we are working on it! November First?

I am also thinking about The Oasis. The tent area is now cleaned up. Our only Base Camp in this whole country.Yet Mother Nature dictates our stay and so does my need to not stay there as now and go on. Only missing it so quickly. Not much makes sense, I wonder. I am confused these days. A winter nest, could not be any better. I stop trying to understand myself. Only go with the flow, a flow which has been so fortunate and generous, I have to admit it, inside out.

Using Sherpa is too easy. The sleeping bag is always ready, so is the chair and the tripod. Everything is including the stove. The camper opens in less than one minute, closes in about the same amount of time. Nice screens for some cool air throughout the night. Spirit has to sleep down below, that is the only part I don’t like. If he was lighter I would lift him but at 60lbs it is a bit too much for me. Sherpa did well though the washes that have been repaired but yet have a foot and a half to two feet drops. Amazing how the all wheel drive kicks in when needed. I am not a very good driver just needing remembering to remember where the wheels are!

The morning was magical. So much "magic" in our Life. I was alone with Spirit. No one showed up. I guess no one was interested in a Sunrise at Santa Elena Canyon. We witnessed the Moon getting away behind the cliffs, a Moon which seemed as bright as the Sun, turning around to watch the light slowly emerging from the darkness and then the glorious Sun taking it’s time to emerge. The coolness of the early morning did not last long. I broke camp upon our return. We were not going to endure this heat again, we were not either going to spend the day driving around with Sherpa and the air on. We are back at "The Oasis". No regrets, that morning will always be imprinted in my memory. Slightly cooling off… I think winter is going to drop on us like a brick.

Till next time.

"I have been juggling my Book, my “one-pan recipes”, “Spirit” and myself and also Smugmug is starting too look good if I may say so myself with now 6 Galleries. There will be more, adding daily as I go through these past years photos…”

Take a look. “Smugmug” stands for quality. Thank you”

Be well, always.

Ara & Spirit